What Evil Lurks
by Dust Traveller
Summary: As Raven finds herself drawn deeper and deeper into the mystery of the Titan's enigmatic leader, she will learn a frightening truth that may shatter her illusions. Sometimes the only thing that can protect a dream... is a Nightmare. RobRae
1. In The Flesh

A/N: Ohhh... Boy... I'm gonna catch hell for this one. On the Teen Titans, the battle lines are firmly drawn, with those who think Robin and Starfire are inevitable firmly entrenched against the assault of those who like the idea of our odd birds getting together. 

Well folks, let it never be said that I don't love the underdogs.

However, if I just did it the same old way everyone else did, it wouldn't be fun for me, or you. Nope nope nope, I have to go about this in typical convoluted DT style, and so we have What Evil Lurks... a sort of AU Neil Gaimen's The Sandman/Teen Titans crossover. The crossover won't IMMEDIATELY be clear, but rest assured, the Dreaming is a vital part of the story, and not all of our beloved Titan's are as they appear to be. Those of you familiar with The Sandman might figure out exactly what's going on round about chapter two or so... and believe me, it's a doozy.

With that being said, I hope this entertains. Please forgive my artistic license... I have much planned, indeed I do.

"So ya... Thought ya... Might like to... go to the show. To feel the warm thrill of confusion. That space cadet glow. Tell me is something eluding you, sunshine? Is this not what you expected to see? If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes. You'll just have to claw your way through this disguise. Lights! Turn on the sound effects! Action!" -Pink Floyd, In the Flesh

It wasn't so much his manner that made her suspicious.

On the surface he was just like any of them... a young, cocky, exuberant example of energetic youth. Morally uplifted perhaps, perhaps even noble, but young nonetheless. For a long time, the surface was all she saw. She had fallen out of the practice of reading people, a practice she hadn't needed since the fall of Azarath. For a long time, the surface had been all there was to see of people, even her friends.

Especially her friends.

She wasn't being cruel, she wasn't being arrogant in her assumption... it wasn't assumption at all, to an empath as powerful as she. Each of her friends, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg... were exactly what they appeared to be on the surface. They had no illusions, no unseen, murky depths.

They were what they were. As simple as that. There was comfort in that simplicity.

It made her weary to look at them, sometimes. They moved, they FELT, too fast for her, in her surprised, egg-shell fragile state, to keep up with them. She reacted with the same old emotional barriers, sarcasm and quiet, unblinking coldness. They were young, and she... she felt so very very old. Physical age meant nothing in this perception. Her battle was timeless, her battlefield far removed from the waking eye. It would never end, had never ceased, and days blurred and ran into nights with increasing regularity.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept a full night.

Of course she didn't feel frail. She didn't feel on her last legs, in need of surcease. She wasn't on the brink of defeat. Far from it. This life, this state, was all she'd ever known, and she'd long accepted it as part and parcel of her existence. Better to live on the edge than not to live at all.

Right?

Only he couldn't be read. Only he was at all a mystery. It wasn't just the mask he wore... such a thing was no barrier to her mind. Oh how she wished such a thing WOULD be a barrier to her, and that all she met wore such masks. All too often people's emotions invaded her space, leaving swirls of chaos in the well ordered, expertly tended sterility that was her mindscape. No, his feelings, his mind, were a blank to her. All she saw when she looked into him was the calm quietude of her own heart.

This in and of itself was no reason to be alarmed. Deeply centered, highly self controlled men exuded the same calm that she was capable of. Monks... Priests... Indeed, of any of them, he SHOULD have been the least easy to read. Unlike the others, he had no superpower crutch to lean upon. Training honed to a razor's edge, unbeatable iron-willed determination was his power. He was all that he was, and only rigid self discipline and inhuman calm could possibly have seen him to the place he was today.

Robin was quite possibly the most centered human being she had ever met. Despite the joking and social face he put on for their friends, inside these things, he was always that calm center of the storm.

Watching over them all.

Their fearless leader, a stranger bird.

To Beast Boy he was like an older brother, providing guidance and gentle, well meant teasing in equal measure, with just a measure of steel. To Cyborg he was a friendly rival, a yardstick to measure against, and a wall to put one's back against when the world turned hard. To Starfire...

Ah, Starfire. SHE was certainly no closed book. Her feelings toward him were like a blazing sun. Sometimes, Raven had to look away to avoid being burnt by them. To Starfire, he was gentle understanding. A teacher with infinite patience.

He was quite literally the glue that held the team together. Without him, they wouldn't have BEEN a team.

Still, that he fulfilled all of these roles was a startling thing, in one so young. He seemed to keep no time to himself. She found herself watching him out of morbid curiousity, wondering when he would slip in one of the roles that had been forced upon him, dreading that event.

It never happened.

What was he to her? His calm in the center of the worst sort of calamity was an anchor. Too often they found themselves in the midst of panic and chaos, surrounded by pain and despair... sometimes even blood and death. On these times, when the sudden strike of emotion was too great for her to weather, she looked to him, and there was shelter.

More importantly however, was the quiet understanding. He seemed to know the brink on which she walked. He seemed to bear silent witness to the war within. Rather than make her paranoid, rather than make her second guess her every movement, she took a morbid sort of comfort from the scrutiny. He was reassurance, a silent, never spoken understanding, a suicide pill.

If she ever fell, if she ever lost her way and turned to the poison her father would have her be, he would be there.

He would be there to end the threat.

She found herself almost believing he'd pull it off, too.

In any case, it was the little things that drew her attention to him. Little incidents, little quirks that pattered on the endlessly patient surface of her consciousness, until she began to feel, not know really, but FEEL, that there was something... WRONG about him.

It all came to a head one, in a rather cliched sort of way, "dark stormy night". Her father and her emotions had left her in a fragile state, and sleep... calm, restful sleep at least, had eluded her. She had climbed out of bed in her customary sweats and teeshirt, and padded her way to the kitchen to get some herbal tea in preparation for what she was rapidly coming to realize was going to be a long, sleepless night.

Of course, with her, she brought the customary horror novel. It seemed so much of her life's enjoyment she stole vicariously from the accounts of others. It was no cheap attempt to appear more gothic that made her read the novels she did. At it's most basic level, the horror genre was about cheating death, defeating the monsters within and without.

There is no sweeter draught then the avoidance of a certain death.

Even a certain Fate.  
She heated the teapot, carefully watching it for the moment steam began to escape, lest the whistle awaken one of her teammates. She poured out the hot water into her cup, and set the bag in it to steep. Picking up the cup carefully, she turned.

A sudden flash of silent fire, and she found herself staring into her own reflection. She jumped, not so much scared as startled, and the movement sent hot, half steeped tea lapping onto her hand. With a hiss and a jerk she dropped the tea cup.

A hand snapped down so fast it seemed to stretch in front of her and caught the rim by the fingertips.

She watched, numb with fascination, as those nimble hands set the cup with nary a drop spilled onto the countertop.

For a moment neither of them spoke. The reflection she'd seen had been the white glass of his mask, the sudden illumination of an ill timed lightning strike muted by the soundproof walls of the titan tower and his own natural grace and calm presence catching her unawares. He was dressed in a similar outfit as she was, more appropriately male of course, but even in the solitude of the tower at 3 am he was still masked.

He grinned very slightly then, breaking the moment.

"Sorry about that, Rae. Are you alright?"

She blinked, then settled the weight of her cold mantle more firmly on her shoulders. The nickname was one she only tolerated from him, and even then, only just. "I'm fine. What are you doing up so late, Boy Wonder?"

A trick of the light twisted his grin strangely... was it her imagination, was he just grinning sheepishly, or was it an expression that spoke of hidden, secretive amusement?

"Nightmare." He said.

Her lips tightened. Nightmares were something she was infinitely familiar with. "You too, huh?"

He gave her no answer, merely arched one eyebrow.

Somewhat disturbed, she picked up her tea and turned away from him, towards the couch. Lightning illuminated the room again and for a split second she could swear his gaze had followed her speculatively. She settled in and turned on the small lamp near the couch she had set up for other sleepless nights. Still slightly unnerved, she forced herself to calm down and began to read.

"They only have as much power over you as you let them, you know."

She almost started again when his voice cut into the gloom. He was still in the kitchen, and the sound echoed strangely off the kitchen tiles. She set the book down and glared in his direction. He'd left the light off, moving about the kitchen in darkness.

"What are you doing, aside from annoying me?"

He was suddenly illuminated by the light from the refrigerator. He removed a wrapped plate and a couple of jars. He grinned.

"Roast beef sandwich. Only time I can eat like this without getting a guilt trip from the elf. Want one?"

She blinked, then narrowed her eyes slightly. "No-"

"You're missing out. There is an artistry to making a sandwich, you know. I am an artiste."

She cocked her head and gave him a dry look. "Sandwich artist, huh? I think Subway might have a trademark on that statement."

He never missed a beat. "They stole it from me."

She sighed. Truth be told, she WAS a little hungry. She decided to humor him. "Sure... I'll have-"

He grinned. "You don't get to tell the artist what paints he has to use. You will take what I give you and like it."

She narrowed her eyes again. "Suddenly I find my appetite for ALL things bull going away."

His grin turned into an almost smirk. "Trust me."

She blinked. Then reasoned that whatever he put in front of her, she didn't HAVE to eat it if she didn't like it.

"Whatever."

She settled back into her book and continued to read. With anyone else in the room, she might have packed up and left, but his presence (though she would have never told him this) had a soothing effect on her. She was quite immersed in her book when a quiet cough brought her attention back to the real world. A quiet clink brought her attention to the roast beef sandwich sitting next to her on the couch. Robin, in typical defiance of gravity and the norms our society places on the proper way to sit down, was perched on the other arm of the couch, plate in one hand, glass of milk on the table next to him. He wasn't looking at her, in fact, he was watching the storm through the heavy plate windows.

Like a gargoyle. A very sexy, well built gargoyle...

She shook off the image and picked up the sandwich, taking a bite with some trepidation.

It evaporated instantly under the assault on her tastebuds. This was quite possibly the best goddamn sandwich she'd ever had in her life.

"How is it?" He never moved his gaze from the storm.

"It'll do." She said grudgingly.

He grinned slightly. "Alfred would have been happy to hear something approaching a complement about his sandwich making technique coming from you."

She took another bite. "Who?"

He shook his head slightly. They spent the next several minutes in companionable silence. She was content to go back to her book, and he, he just ate his sandwich and watched the grey sky. Anyone else might have been tempted to fill up the emptiness with meaningless noise, but her companion seemed to understand the beauty of a quiet moment. She found herself, without really meaning to, staring at him in profile. Whatever mystery he contemplated, whatever mystery he represented, it was hidden behind his calm, quiet surface.

"Why do you do it?" She whispered, shocked at herself for breaking the silence.

He never looked her way. "Why do I look out for all of them?"

She nodded, not quite sure how he knew what she had been thinking. She expected some sort of rote answer, like, they are my friends, that's what friends do. Or, I'm the leader of the team, they're my responsibility.

She was surprised, therefore, at his answer.

He turned his gaze to her, and without changing his neutral facial expression, answered tonelessly. "It's what is expected of me."

She found herself disliking his answer. It broke the routine, it invited further inquiry. It made her focus on him, made her take a stand.

"Aren't they your friends?"

He grinned at her then, but it was not a mocking grin. It was almost... gentle. "People in my position can't afford the luxury of friends, Raven."

Her eyes widened. He was quoting HER!

"How dare you." She hissed.

He raised an eyebrow.

"You think I LIKE being like this? You think I-"

He set down the empty plate. "You want to know what I think, Rae?" He didn't look at her, not yet. He was staring hard at the plate. Or perhaps through it.

Perhaps not seeing it at all.

She blinked. Her tirade died stillborn on her astonished lips. He took her hesitation as acceptance and pressed on.

"I think you use your father as an excuse to seperate yourself from humanity. I think the thought of opening yourself up to other people, to be exposed to the elements of humanity so terrifies you, that you'd rather face HELL alone."

Her mouth drifted open, a thousand startled rebukes on the tip of her tongue. How did he know about Trigon? How did he know about the Prophecy?

Now he looked up. She couldn't see his eyes but she felt his gaze on her, staring through her, burning away all of her secrets.

"I THINK, Raven, that your father is going to win one day because despite the rightness of your cause and the purity and nobility of your soul... you have nothing. You are nothing, because you will allow yourself nothing, and you have no one to fight for."

His words came at her not in a mocking, stinging torrent but a gentle, calm, soothing rain. He wasn't admonishing her. He wasn't berating her.

He was saddened at the prospect.

It cut her so much more deeply than anger would have. She felt her tight control slipping. The plate next to him vibrated for a moment, then exploded in a quiet shower of shards.

He never so much as jumped or started at the sound, even though one shard sliced his cheek, leaving a line of slowly dripping red on his face. He just watched her. She couldn't see his eyes but she knew what she'd see if she could see them.

Sadness. Sympathy.

That definately made it worse.

She forced herself back into that state of calm, closed her eyes and forced herself to meditate. "Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos, Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos, Azarath..."

When she opened her eyes he was gone. She scowled. Her appetite for reading suddenly gone, she stood up. The shards of the plate were scattered everywhere, there was simply no way she could gather them all up tonight. She suddenly felt exhausted. Exhausted and heartsick. For her the plate represented her life... the moment she lost control it shattered beyond repair, turning to sharp, dagger-like little pieces that cut and rent the lives of those around her. She knew she should pick them up, but she just couldn't bring herself to extend the effort. Floating herself over the mess and down the hall was almost an insurmountable task, but somehow she got herself into her room. She collapsed on her bed and drifted into a deathlike slumber.

For once she didn't dream of four red eyes.

* * *

The next morning she arose feeling better than she had in a long time. Her dreams had been untroubled and calm for once, as though her expenditure of emotional turbulence had left her too drained to scare. She stretched a moment, when her hand touched something cold that clinked.

She started, then sat up and looked.

She blinked.

A plate sat on the bed beside her, a plate with thousands and thousands of hair fine cracks littering its surface. She picked it up tentatively, half expecting it to crumble in her hands. It was solid, slightly cool. She turned it over in her hands but could find no missing pieces, not a single one.

She blinked again. It was inconceivable to her how much time it must have taken to find every single piece that had come off of this. Even more impossible the task of assembling the thousands upon thousands of shards into the whole. Simply impossible. Even she might have been unable to do so, and she could have done it much easier with her telekinesis and psychometry powers. He must have been up ALL night...

How...

Why...

Her gaze caught a note on her bed. She blinked and looked down. It must have detached from the bottom of the plate and fluttered to the bedspread without her noticing it.

She picked it up with a trembling hand.

It had a single sentence written on it in plain, no nonsense script.

"Broken things can be mended."

It was unsigned, but there was no need for a signature.

She knew who had done it.

She stood up suddenly, her expression unreadable, and walked over to her dresser. Carefully, perhaps reverantly, she set the plate on top of it. Then she turned and, with purpose in her stride, left her room.

* * *

Garfield Logan was a curious sort.

Part of the reason he was such a joking, lackadaisical individual was because he found humour was a great disarming tactic. Of course, BB was disingenious enough not to realize that his sense of humour was a manipulation tactic, he just reasoned that he liked it when people laughed at his antics.

He never explored the reasons WHY he liked it.

Of course, this is not to speak badly of BB's character, on the contrary, he honestly wanted to help his friends. Which was why the two most mysterious members of their group, two birds of a feather, as they had often been called, were such a contant source of fascination and frustration for him. He honestly liked and respected their leader, but the Boy Wonder held everyone at a courteous, but distinct distance. He gave all the signals and signs of a man who truely cared about his place as Team Leader, laughed and joked, taught and pushed for excellence in all of them, but despite this, Beast Boy couldn't help but feel that he held some part of himself apart from them.

He sometimes wondered why that was the case.

Raven, on the other hand, gave no indication of wanted to be a part of the team, indeed, of the human race for that matter. Of course, after the incident with her mirror BB understood why that was. Such an act of self sacrifice and nobility shocked BB to his very core. He'd never thought such suffering in service of humanity was possible. Despite this, some ineffable thing told him that Raven cared about them, in her fashion.

Even IF he annoyed the living shit out of her.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that the events which transpired on that fateful Thursday morning damn near gave poor Beast Boy a stroke from the speed at which his speculations flew.

It started normally enough. Beast Boy was having his customary tofu versus eggs argument with Cyborg, an arguement grown so familiar that both of them slipped into the roles of tormentor and tormentee with equal practiced ease, like a well worn glove. There was comfort there, well meant teasing on both sides, even though for his part, it was NOT just an idle argument. He honestly didn't understand how anyone could eat the flesh of animals, although in his defense, Cyborg probably felt more empathy towards a toaster than a rooster.

Hmm... that was a good one... might have to remember that.

In any case, the first indicator that anything might be wrong was when the Boy Wonder left the elevator. Oh for the most part he was every inch his implacable, confident self. Uniform well pressed and presented, unruly hair in customary position, everpresent mask hiding his eyes from the world.

What drew BB's gaze as well as his speculation, was the inch and a half long scabbed over gash high on his cheekbone, just under his eye.

He snagged a plate of food and seated himself across from the feuding pair, opening the daily newspaper and reading quietly.

Beast Boy's imagination began to run wild.

"Hey Cyborg..." He sniffled theatrically. "Ain't it a shame how quickly the kids grow up?"

Cyborg blinked, pausing in mid-tirade. He eyed Beast Boy suspiciously. "Huh? What the hell're you talkin' about, B?"

BB took up a half Shakespearean pose of lament, gesturing towards the Boy Wonder, who for his part took a bite of his toast and ignored the green elf's antics.

"Oh how quickly time passes, from sunrise to sunset. Our dear leader, our first titan, is showing his age."

Cyborg blinked, looking at Robin, then back at Beast Boy. "What're you babbling about?"

"Cy, our little boy is growing up. Robin... if you needed help learning how to shave, you should have ASKED."

Robin never spared him a glance, continuing to eat his toast. In between bites he turned the pages of the newspaper and spoke without looking up. "Why would I ask you about something you have no experience with, BB?"

Cyborg grinned at this, then got into the game. "Oh I dunno, Rob... I mean, shaving with a machete is dangerous, bro. Maybe you should just let it grow out... You might look pretty stylin' with a goatee... maybe some sideburns. Hey I know... you could go the Rob Zombie route, you know? Psychological warfare and all that, SCARE the criminals into giving up, right?"

Beast Boy winced. "Ohh... BURN." He and Cyborg shared a high five.

Robin drank some orange juice. "Why don't we make a team effort of it. You might look pretty scary yourself, Cy... you know, half an afro and all."

Cyborg winced. "Ouch... that's hitting blow the belt, Rob."

"Don't dish it out if you can't take it, bro." Robin remarked calmly, flipping the page.

"Seriously... how did you get the cut, Rob?" BB asked curiously.

Any answer Robin might have given was lost in the chaos following the incident which took place next.

Raven entered the room suddenly, her usually bland expression strangely tense. Beast Boy blinked and looked in her direction, as did Cyborg after a moment's confusion. Raven's amethyst eyes slowly panned over the room, taking in all of her friends, then locking on the tranquil Boy Wonder. He seemed to sense her gaze on him and lowered his paper, cocking one eyebrow upward in a questioning expression.

She resolutely walked up to him, only a couple of feet away. Cyborg and Beast Boy watched, the unmistakable tension making them spellbound waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Robin." She said quietly, although whether it was to insure she had his full attention or just a greeting they weren't sure.

"Raven." He acknowledged, his answer also hovering between a confirmation of his attention and a morning greeting.

Then she slapped him.

HARD.

To further make the scene as disturbingly surreal as possible, he turned back to her calmly, red mark blooming on his cheek, like he was EXPECTING something like that.

"THAT," She said quietly, but slightly hoarsely. "Was for coming into my room uninvited."

He nodded quietly. "I'm sorry."

Beast Boy and Cyborg gaped. Cyborg looked like he was going to pass out, half chewed eggs dropping out of his open mouth, and Beast Boy hammered his chest in a vain attempt to restart his furiously overworked heart.

Then she reached up hesitantly, then cupped his cut cheek gently. Her eyes glowed for a moment.

When she removed her hand, the cut was gone as though it had never been.

He raised his eyebrow again. "What was that for?" He asked curiously.

She didn't answer him, she simply took her customary mug of tea and left the room.

Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at him in goggle eyed surprise. He followed her exit and then, once she had left the room, picked up his paper and started reading again.

"Dude, WHEN were you in her room! what the HELL were you DOING in her room! What the HELL was that all about?" Beast Boys questions flowed out, intersparsing with Cyborgs own sputtered queries.

Robin finished his breakfast and set his cutlery on top of the plate, folding the paper under his arm. Setting his empty glass on it, he picked it up and looked at them both squarely.

"To answer your questions... I was in her room last night... What I was doing there is none of your damn business..."

He carried the plate over to the sink and set it inside, walking towards the elevator. "As for what that was all about..."

He stepped inside. "Making a stand."

The door shut resolutely, silencing any further outcry.

Starfire drifted into the room at that point, cheerfully humming to herself. "Joyous greetings, friend Cyborg, friend Beast Boy. Has the ritual fast breaking begun?" She faltered to a halt, blinking in confusion.

"What has transpired? You both look as though you'd seen a goose."

Cyborg just shook his head, and Beast Boy continued to stare at the elevator, his mouth open.

"That's ghost, Star." BB corrected dazedly.

The Tameranian began to worry. "Please... what has happened, friends? Where is friend Raven?" She paused, blushing slightly. "Friend Robin as well?"

Beast Boy closed his mouth with a snap and looked at her, as though noticing her for the first time. He turned his gaze to Cyborg, and the two of them spoke at exactly the same time.

"The Twilight Zone."

Starfire blinked rapidly. As usual, the answer she received had only confused her further.


	2. Thin Ice

A/N: And Saint Atila did raise the fanfic on high, saying, oh Author, we didst review mightily thy work, and, being addicts of the highest order, do beseech thee to blow the continuity of Teen Titans to tiny bits... in thy mercy. And the Author did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and the sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutuans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and lar- skip that part brother. And the Author spake saying: First, shalt though pull outest the holy webbrowser. Then shalt thou count to 2. No more, no less. The chapter is 2. 2 is the chapter to which thou hast read, and thou hast read, to 2. Not 3 as that hast yet to be written, and not 1, saving, that thou then proceed, to 2. 4 is right out! Once chapter 2, being the second chapter be reached, shalt though review the holy fanfic, which, being naughty in the author's sight, shall be updated. Ahem... Right. A warning... as I said, this the chapter where the crossover begins. There is a MAJOR MAJOR cameo in this one, and things are not always what they seem. I only hope I'm not being TOO obvious. In any case, I enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you all enjoy reading it. 

On with the show.

* * *

"If you should go skating, on the thin ice of modern life, dragging behind you the silent reproach, of a million tear-stained eyes. Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice, appears under your feet. You slip out of your depth and out of your mind, with your fear flowing out behind you, as you claw the thin ice." Thin Ice, Pink Floyd

He flowed, he twisted, he turned the highest level of brutality into a dance. He poured himself into each movement, a spinning, dodging, snake-striking, living piece of art.

She watched, spellbound.

It wasn't just a martial arts kata. It wasn't just practicing the deadly skills he'd learned in the course of his tumultuous career as a hero. It seemed a religion to him, as effortless as breathing, a simple faith in the next move, the foundations of art built solidly from the ground up into a masterpiece of movement.

It was a dance. It was worship.

It was deadly and dangerous and dare she say it... (she could scarcely admit it to herself, scarcely think it, let alone say it) sexy.

The staff snapped to full extension as he moved from one stance to another, spinning and twirling like the blade of a helocopter, like the arms of a windmill, like the sun in its slow rise and fall. He stopped finally, his back to her, upright, feet shoulder width apart, staff held across his body, like a weight lifter just preparing to make the second hitch to move a heavy barbell over their head.

"Raven." He acknowledged quietly, never turning to look at her.

Of course he'd known she was there. She hadn't been trying to hide her presence, even though she HAD phased through the floor to get here. There was just something about Robin that made her think he was capable of anything.

"I'd clap Boy Wonder, but I wouldn't want you to get a swelled head." She deadpanned, then inwardly sighed at herself. That was remarkably confrontational, and she hadn't MEANT it to sound like an insult.

He turned to her and grinned that calm grin of his. "Thank you."

Ok, nevermind.

She frowned very slightly. "Robin, we need to talk."

He collapsed his staff suddenly and secured it to his belt, then reached down and picked up a towel, wiping his hair free of the perspiration that dewed it.

"About?" He said after a moment.

She narrowed her eyes, as though trying to pierce through his calm facade into the secrets beneath.

"How did you know about... about my father?" She said finally.

"Ah." He said, his gaze focusing on the ground in front of her. He appeared deep in thought.

He looked up after a moment. "I'll answer your question with a question, Rae. Why would you assume that I'd ask you to help me form the Titans if I didn't know everything about you... including the threat you might represent?"

It took every bit of focused calm and mental training to prevent her emotions from turning the room into a blizzard of destruction. Her face cracked a bit.

"You... You knew... all along?"

He didn't even appear to be startled. "Of course I knew about Trigon. Raven, I was trained by one of the greatest investigative minds in the history of crime fighting. You don't get exposed to that level of professionalism without picking up a few things."

"You knew... and you still..." She seemed to be having trouble breathing, and as usual, she found herself focusing on HIS calm to calm herself. For a moment this irritated her deeply, despite her dismay.

"Before I met you, I made it a point to find out as much as I could about you before hand. There wasn't much to learn, in the normal circles." He grinned quietly. "Unlike my mentor, however, I've learned to be less discriminating about my sources of information. A... friend of friend pulled a few strings and I got what I was looking for, in exchange for a few favors."

"You still haven't answered me." Raven said struggling for calm.

"You still haven't asked me what you really want to know." He said, toweling the back of his neck.

"FRIENDS! HERE YOU ARE! I have been looking low and high for the two of you! Friends Cyborg and Beast Boy informed me that I might find you in the Zone of Dimmness-"

Both of them looked up, with varying expressions of confusion at the bright and happy Tameranian. Robin raised an eyebrow and looked at Raven, who rolled her eyes and shook her head in resigned disgust.

"Is everything alright, friends? You appear to be in the dumps." Starfire's face creased slightly in a concerned frown. She flicked her emerald gaze between her two companions.

Robin smiled and shook his head. "Everything's right as rain, Star."

She blinked. "But rain is so gloomy... I am not sure of your meaning here... is this... what is the word Beast Boy used to describe friend Raven... Sarcastic?"

Robin laughed quietly. "No Star... it's just a saying. Everything is fine."

"Aside from a certain transformational veridian midget who's going to discover a new level of pain and suffering when I get my hands on him." Raven intoned ominously.

Starfire blushed prettily and put her hand over her mouth, wincing slightly. "Oh... my mouth has done it again, I made the bag out of the proverbial feline. I am sorry friend Raven, I asked him why you sometimes intoned things in such a way as to make them appear to be true, yet ridicule them at the same time, and he told me you were being of the sarcastic."

"I never would have guessed." Raven muttered blandly.

Starfire grinned and clapped happily. "Yes, like that! Exactly like that! He said it was a mechanism of defending. Although I am unclear why you would need to defend against your friends-"

Robin coughed politely, covering his mouth with a fist. "Ahem. That's enough getting BB into trouble, Star. He does that enough on his own."

Raven sighed in a subdued, but at the same time, long suffering manner.

Starfire, never one to let something like sticking her foot in her mouth get her down for long, clapped her hands together and floated a foot off the ground. "In any case, I am glad to have found you both! I cannot wait to see all of those beautiful little faces light up when we show up! Do you think there will be many of them?"

Raven blinked. "What are you talking about?"

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Oh that's right, that was today. Remember the orphanage thing, Raven?"

Raven sighed. "Oh yeah. That thing I voted against but got overruled about. This is turning out to be a great day."

Starfire looked dismayed. "But friend Raven, how can you not love the children into pieces? The smiling hopeful faces, the laughter-"

"The kicking and screaming, the biting, the endless noise." Raven deadpanned, resignedly.

Starfire's eyes glowed with her happiness. "I KNOW! Is it not WONDERFUL? I must go and get ready! I have a whole batch of Friendship Pudding to prepare."

Raven blinked as Starfire shot down the hall humming brightly to herself. "Robin, the last thing those kids need is food poisoning."

Robin had the grace to look a bit guilty. "I know. I bought a whole 18 pack of banana pudding on the sly. When she isn't looking, I'm gonna switch 'em and hope she doesn't notice the difference."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Thank god for naive aliens."

An awkward silence filled the space between them. She wanted desperately to ask him the questions that lurked in her mind, but at the same time, she was afraid of how he'd answer.

Robin rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Raven, if this is going to be such a trial, you don't HAVE to go."

His words hurt, slightly. While the prospect of entertaining several dozen rugrats didn't rate high on Raven's list of things she absolutely HAD to do in order to lead a fulfilling life, she wasn't completely heartless. Her main issue with going was her current mental state. Robin's words and deeds last night, coupled with his revelations today had frayed the edges of her usually iron control. She felt her emotions lurking below the surface, bubbling up like bits of meat and vegetables in the simmering stew that was her subconscious.

Still, though she got the feeling that Robin wouldn't have thought any less of her for begging out, such an action might hurt the feelings of Star and the others.

Not to mention the fact, when one was the half demon spawn of an Eater of Worlds, it often paid not to be too predictable.

"No, I'll go. I think I have a book of Grimm's Fairy Tales in my room somewhere. The kids might enjoy being read to."

Robin grinned at her. "Try not to scare the kids too much, Rae. I've read those stories, and I have a feeling you aren't the sort of girl who goes in for the nice, edited versions."

"Flatterer." She deadpanned.

* * *

Of course it was a huge success.

Kids love heroes, super heroes especially. What closer to a role model do you need? Kids aren't stupid, put something fake and plastic in front of them and they'll see right through it, through the disguise and the guile of adult trickery.

Kids know when they are being fucked with.

Just as sure as they know that Santa Claus is real, that the Easter Bunny really does exist. That there is a monster under the bed. In the closest. In the sewer. So it stands to reason that there are Heroes. There have to be.

It's only fair.

Real heroes care about children, protect them, die for them. The Teen Titans were nothing if not real heroes.

Starfire's Friendship Pudding was a huge success (even though it did taste a little off to her, perhaps she should have used more mustard and less vanilla extract?) and Star contented herself with flying children around the grounds, to their delight. At least, until one of the larger kids got motion sick. The mortally embarassed boy took Star several hours to convince that it wasn't his fault, which effectively ended Starfire's First Round the Orphanage Flights.

Beast Boy was having a blast, of course, since he was damn near a kid himself. Plus, horsie is so much cooler if your horse actually IS a horse.

Even if he was a horse of a different color.

Cyborg was probably the most heartwarming to watch. The gentle giant was mortally terrified that he might accidentally hurt one of the small wards of the state, so the care and concern he took in playing with those kids not intimidated by his metal encased form touched the hearts of all of the adults watching.

Plus, he made a great jungle gym.

Raven had a small group of children gathered about her, not too close, but close enough that the circle felt intimate. She had started reading them the REAL version of Red Riding Hood (it was quite a bloody tale, in all honesty). The kids loved it. They loved it so much, in fact, that Raven was starting to feel a little pressed in. Her eyes flickered from the page, catching suddenly on A yellow cape and red uniform. She blinked.

Robin was all alone.

No, that wasn't right. She blinked, narrowing her eyes, her words faltering slightly.

Robin was carrying someone on his shoulders. She giggled and hugged him closely, then started waving her hands back and forth in ever widen circles.

An odd... someone.

It was a child, but a strange child. She was short, but dressed in clothing better fitting a teenager with a severe Goth fetish, black fishnet stockings, large gaping holes torn in the knees and at varying intervals all over the thighs. She had one large clunky boot with chains on it, the other foot was bare, half of the foot sticking out from a hole in her stocking. Short torn up black skirt, black leather jacket, worn and faded, with patches from various countries stamped all over it, some of them several decades old. Raven found she couldn't focus closely on the face, it appeared like a weather worn 16, then a fresh faced young 10, then an androgyneous, ageless look. One eye was bright green, no crimson, no PINK? The other was equally startling, catching the light in a myriad of different ways that defied explanation.

What really caught her attention as well was Robin. He was so SERIOUS.

"Ms. Raven? What's wrong?" A tremulous voice caught her attention and she turned back to the small children watching her. She blinked, realizing she'd droned off. She turned her attention back to the book and finished the line she was on.

"Er... and they all lived happily ever after, the end."

The children smiled and clapped dutifully, and she smiled, a very small smile. She turned her gaze back to Robin, who was still dealing with the strange, monkey-like antics of the girl on his shoulders.

"Does anyone know who that girl is with Robin?" She asked, looking at the children surrounding her. They looked at Robin and then back at her blankly. Most of them shook their heads.

She stood up, curious now, despite herself. Something about the strange, unknown girl with Robin had caught her attention, some ineffable tingling warning on the hairs on the back of her neck told her that something IMPORTANT was happening. Robin walked out the door of the dayroom, girl on his shoulders.

She stood up. "I have to get something to drink, kids. I'll... I'll be right back."

The children, wiser than she thought, knew this was an excuse but forgave her anyway.

Besides, watching her phase through the wall was worth it.

* * *

"SoOoSOoSOoo. HoW's TRiCKs, Mr. PiLLar-Man?"

Raven caught the conversation as it was beginning and hid out of sight, every effort spent on masking her presence. The girl's voice was odd... fluttery and flighty but changing intonations from one moment to the next. It hurt her head to hear it.

Robin glanced upwards. "About as good as can be expected. How have you been?"

She giggled and hugged his neck. "I pLaYed HidE AnD SeEk WiTh THe WhiTE DaYSTar whO BeCAmE A FalLEN KnigHT... BuT I ThINk hIS 2-FaCe GirLFriEnD GoT JEalouS. SHE iS VEry SAd oF HiM. I WIsh TheY CoULD Be TOgETher FOrEveR anD EvEr."

She frowned. "I LOsT My DOg AgaiN. I wAs GoinG To AsK My BRoTher NoT BROtHeR To HelP LOoK For HIm AgAIn But HE Says HE's ToO Busy."

"I'm sorry. I hope you find your dog." Robin sounded sincere... this conversation was hopelessly surreal. White Daystar? Fallen Knight? Two-faced girlfriend? Who was this girl?

"CaN YoU HElP Me?"

"I'm sorry, Milady. I'm busy. Your brother has given me duties to see to as well."

She giggled. "I knEW ThAAaaAT. I JUst Put It IN mY oTher POCkEt. I ALWAys DiD LikE You, Mr. PilLArmAN. You ARe So MUch MorE POLite ThaN DeSIRe. HE/She AlWAys LoOKs DOwn HiS/HEr NOsE At Me BEcAUse I GEt AlL MuddLED FUDDLed DUDDled."

Robin smiled very slightly then. "I aim to please, Milady. Tell me, where did you last see your dog?"

She frowned thoughtfully, closing her eyes in concentration. "UmmMMmm... ThIRd StAr FrOM ThE RiGht SaiL ON TiL MOrning... Or MAyBE The 7/11." She looked sad. "I MiSREmEMBEr."

She began to cry. The tears dripped down her cheek and onto the floor, where they rolled around like little droplets of quicksilver before slipping down the hallway and out of sight.

Raven blinked. What. The. Hell?

She changed moods immediately, clapping her hands with a sudden idea. "I knOw, Mr. PiLLArMan! If I pOP Out ONe OF My EyeSies YOUuUu CAn FiND My DOg!"

Robin looked startled, then shook his head vehemently. "No... No, I don't think that's a very good idea, milady. I wouldn't dare. There are some truths too terrible even for me."

She giggled. "THaT's VEry FUnnY. YoU ArE FuNNy, Mr. PillARMAN. ThAT WAS NoT VErY PiLLAr of YoU."

Robin got a far off look, staring in her direction. Raven hid behind the corner, but she probably needn't have bothered. Robin's gaze was very far off.

"I haven't been... "pillar" in a long time."

"dO yOU MIss It?" She sounded genuinely curious.

"At first. At first I couldn't imagine what He was thinking. I didn't think I could pull it off. He changed alot after He... died... you know. Well of course you know. I thought maybe he was sending me away because I reminded him of what he used to be."

"He WoUlD NevER Do THAt. BRotHEr NoT BRothER RemEmBerS thOSe WhO SErVE FaiTHFuLLy. YoU SAVEd HIm FROm GETTing AlL BUrnt Up LIkE A MarshMaLLow."

"I know that, but..."

"He SeNT YOu BEcauSe He CAReD AboUT tHE CAn'T CrY GiRl. He TruStS yOu."

Robin smiled sadly. "I don't know if he should, milady. I haven't had the most stellar of track records, you know." He sighed. "In any case, things have... changed."

"CAn'T CRy GirL?"

He nodded, solemnly. "I know I shouldn't. It only makes... makes what I might have to do harder. I TOLD Him I wasn't up to it." He sighed. "Those we observe we are doomed to change... but what they don't tell you, milady, is that those we observe change us."

The mismatched little girl hopped down from Robin's back and smiled up at him. "I DoN'T KnoW mR. PILLarMan. ThE BuTterFlY LoOKs GoOD ON YoU. YoU MakE A SMAsHIng SonGBirD."

She put up her hands to either side of her outstretching her arms like an airplane and ran in circles around him, buzzing like an engine. Robin looked as though her comments struck him deeply, but when she ran around him out of Raven's view she never came back around his thin frame. Raven gasped. She just disappeared... it was as though she had never been.

Robin stood in quiet solitude for a moment, then glanced around quickly. After a moment's hesitation he walked back into the day room.

Raven was left with far more questions than she had when she had followed him out.

She also left with an ever deepening suspicion that her fearless leader was not the man he appeared to be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That was AWESOME. We definately need to do that again some time. Did you see-"

"I KNOW! With the thing! And then Star-"

Beast Boy and Cyborg went on and on about how great their trip was, even over the sound of the engine and the the wind whipping through her short lavender hair, Raven could make out the gist of their excited conversation. For a moment she felt a pang of envy at their free spirited enjoyment of the events of the last few hours. Sometimes she wondered what it would have been like to wear her heart on her sleeve, as the saying went. Such thoughts she inevitably quashed as soon as they came, however.

Such thoughts were dangerous.

Today however she indulged herself just a little bit more than usual, allowing herself to feel at least a little warmth at what she had done for those kids back there. Sometimes she felt that there was just no point to it all, that inevitably the sins of her birth would vastly outweigh any good she could accomplish in this grey world. It was nice to see a tangible difference in the people she met, see the lives enriched by their presence.

She mused over the odd meeting between Robin and that strange girl. There was something strangely sacred about the memory. She found herself slightly in awe of the Boy Wonder's quiet acceptance of the macabre and strange child's company. It was obvious the two had known one another, although what had she kept calling him...

Mr. Pillarman? What did it mean? Eyes and songbirds, Brother not brothers and whatever other strangeness. It was as though they had been speaking in code... a code that Raven was becoming more and more convinced held the secret to the mystery that was the Boy Wonder.

At the same time, she didn't want to confront him about it. He hadn't done anything wrong, hadn't betrayed their trust. Indeed, calling him on it would have been a broach of his privacy, and with the odd exception of entering her room without her permission yesterday, he'd always respected her privacy, unlike SOME teammates she could mention. Even his recent violation of this had been, ultimately, in an attempt to make her feel better, an act which confused her.

No, her silent witness of the strange meeting woud remain a secret, for now. At the most basic level she TRUSTED Robin. He'd saved her life, been willing to give his own life too often for her not to do so. This in and of itself surprised her. By her very nature she was not the trusting sort. Somehow he'd slipped past her defenses, crept on her slowly, until, however small, he had claimed a tiny portion of her heart.

She shivered involuntarily at the prospect. The streetlights that she passed to either side mirrored her unease at the thought, flickering on and off suddenly.

She began her litany of calm.

"HEY RAVEN!" Beast Boy shouted out to her, cupping his hands to enhance the noise. "WE'RE GONNA STOP BY THE PIZZA PLACE, YOU WANNA JOIN US?"

She sighed. With how tired all this emotional hooplah was making her, she just didn't feel like dealing with another public place. She shook her head wearily. "NO THANKS."

Beast Boy looked slightly disappointed, but shrugged. "SUIT YOURSELF. HEY ROB! WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

Robin's helmet oriented on Beast Boy, then shook in a negative manner. "I'M PRETTY TIRED, BB. THOSE KIDS WORE ME OUT. I THINK I'M GONNA TURN IN EARLY."

"GEEZ, WHAT A COUPLE OF PARTY POOPERS. ALRIGHT YOU TWO, DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO." Beast Boy wiggled his eyebrows and winked at her, his one jutting fang poking out mischieviously in an exaggerated leer.

"GROW UP." Raven growled.

* * *

She caught up to him as he was preparing to go up the elevator, his helmet under one arm. He held the small elevator for her and she stepped in, the doors closing quietly behind them.

"Robin..." She started.

He looked down at her. He didn't have to look far. She wasn't all that much shorter than he was. The Elevator wasn't terribly big, however, and Raven suddenly realized that they were MUCH closer than she normally liked to be to anyone.

She faltered, then cleared her throat and pressed on resolutely.

"About earlier... You knew about... about Trigon and you still asked me to join the Titans?"

"That's right." He said quietly.

She frowned very slightly, studying his face intently. "Why?"

He pressed his lips together in a fine line, then leaned his weighed on one foot, crossing his arms.

"Honestly? At first... it was to keep an eye on you."

Outwardly she gave no sign of disappointment at his words, but a very faint echo of something... something approaching disappointment trickled through her. Still, this was an answer she could accept, even if it wasn't one she liked. It made sense.

But he continued.

"At first, I wasn't sure what to think, about you I mean. I was told a lot of different things about you, about where you came from, who your father was. I finally decided that the only opinion I could trust about you was my own, so I decided to get to know you better before I made any decisions."

She looked at him, her features very faintly troubled. She was suddenly very aware of just how close he was. She was afraid of his answer, but at the same time, she NEEDED to hear it.

"And... what did you decide?" Her voice sounded strange to her, hoarse and heavy with... with what?

He caught her gaze with his and smiled very slightly. She wished she could see his eyes...

What the hell was WRONG with her!

"That the worst critic you've ever had was you. That you were wrong. You aren't a monster, Rae. I've been around enough, seen enough real monsters to know that. That you are quite possibly the most noble human being I've ever met. You know how I figured that one out, Raven?"

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

"Because despite how hard you suppress and push down your emotions, the one thing that always betrays you isn't anger, or fear, or even depression."

"It's your heart, Rae."

All hell broke loose. Her emotions immediately began jockeying for position, screaming at her to each be heard in turn. Happiness was giggling like a mad woman, Courage was YELLING at her to DO something, Timidity had hidden herself in a tiny ball, fingers in her ears trying not to hear anything.

Anger was shaking with rage and railing at the bars of her cage, her four eyes glowing with hatred and madness.

The lights in the elevator went out suddenly, the elevator jerked to a stop and Raven found herself jostled into the Boy Wonder, who caught her before she could stumble to the floor.

This did not help.

"A-Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos... A-"

"Raven, calm down. Relax. It's ok... just focus on my voice. It's all right." His voice was soothing, like a cool balm in the darkness of the elevator. The emergency lighting didn't go on (it figured). It was easier now that she couldn't see him.

Her breathing hitched. The elevator shook violently. She felt like she was having a panic attack.

"Breathe... just breathe Rae. It's ok. Relax."

"Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos, Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos, Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos..."

"Shhh... Shhh..." He whispered.

Gradually her breathing stilled, calmed and quieted. She opened her eyes and saw nothing. It was still dark.

He let go of her shoulders and she felt him step back.

"Are you alright now?"

"Yes." She said calmly. "I'm sorry about the elevator."

He chuckled. "It's just an elevator, Rae. Whatever is broken, we-"

"Can be mended?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"You frighten me, Boy Wonder." She whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hurt anybody." She continued, almost to herself.

"I know."

"I don't want to hurt you." Her eyes began to adjust to the gloom. She could make out a vague shape in the darkness.

"I know."

"Robin... I-"

"Rae... it's alright. I know."

"How do you know?" She snapped. "I don't even know."

"Somethings you just have to know... you know?"

She blinked. Huh?

"Okay... that was... dumb."

A sound started in the dark, a wierd, lilting sound. She looked around for where it was originating from, then suddenly with shocked realization, she realized it was coming from her.

She was laughing.

Then he joined her.

Two lost souls, laughing in the dark.

The tension washed away like a bad dream, the lights came on, and the elevator started with a jerk.

She fell against the wall, holding her aching sides. He collapsed onto his rump and kept laughing.

Despite herself, despite the craziness of the day and all the strange events which had taken place, she suddenly, inexplicably got the feeling...

That it was all going to be alright.


	3. Catharsis Anonymous

A/N: Sometimes guys, I get really depressed when I look at If fanfic authors have a lifespan, then I'm an old man. I look at bios and see 14, 15, 16 year olds throwing fics up here, and the screwed up part is, half of 'em are really good. 

Makes a man like me, 26, full time job in the United States Navy... it makes me feel really fucking old. I still watch cartoons. I collect anime and comic books like an obsessed teeny bopper.

At the same time, I'm not ashamed of what I am. I enjoy doing what I do. I guess it's just one of those things, right? I'll probably still be writing fanfiction when I'm goddamn 40.

I would suggest that those of you who haven't read The Sandman pick up the damn graphic novels. The first one is Preludes and Nocturnes. I'm serious. Required reading. If you don't like the series you are seriously just... what are you doing reading this?

There are so many levels to this story that you'll get if you read The Sandman. As I progress I'll reveal a bit more as to the nature of The Dreaming and how all of this ties together but I have to tell you, it's DRIVING ME CRAZY that no one knows who the little girl was. I mean... I was trying really HARD to keep her in character and no one knew who she was. I didn't wanna just NAME her... I mean, that's too easy, and it wouldn't have been good writing anyway.

Sigh.

Read Sandman. Neil Gaiman. Fucking genius, I'm telling you. Seriously. Read the fucking comic book.

Anyway, this chapter was fun as HELL to write. You'll understand once you read it, man it was a blast. Of course, I have to drop a little bit of a hint... so for those of you who hate A/N spoilers, feel free to skip after the dots.

--------------------------------Chapter Spoiler---------------------------

Is it just me, or does my version of Disgusting read like Jay from Jay and Silent Bob?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, on with the show.

* * *

"Too alarming now to talk about. Take your pictures down and shake it out. Truth or consequence, say it aloud. Use that evidence, race it around. There goes my hero. Watch him as he goes. There goes my hero. He's ordinary... Don't the best of them bleed it out. While the rest of them peter out. Truth or consequence, say it aloud. Use that evidence, race it around. There goes my hero. Watch him as he goes. There goes my hero. He's ordinary." -My Hero, Foo Fighters

It was grey and quiet. It had no windows, and no doors. Time didn't pass.

Time stood still.

It wasn't a lifeless place, rather, it was a place between one eyeblink and the next, the pause before the breath, no... before the thought of taking a deep breath.

At the same time, it was a place of lost possibilities. Broken dreams. Dust and memories.

It was the stillness of that breath never taken. The destination at the end of the road not traveled. The ship passed in the night.

It was Nevermore.

Raven had given up trying to remember when the term Nevermore had come to her for her ordered and esoteric mindscape. In a way it seemed that it had always been Nevermore. The term just seemed to fit. When she first set foot her in what seemed the long distant past, she called it Nevermore, and thus, Nevermore it was.

Of course, she never came here alone.

Some people make the claim that they are alone even in a crowd. Raven could make the claim that WHEN she was alone, she WAS a crowd. Of course, she never would. Raven was above such tacky observations. She also didn't find the necessity of having to do so something to joke about. When one has to order one's feelings to a carefully selected and suppressed few, one cannot afford to start laughing about it.

Otherwise one might forget why the necessity was so important.

Or maybe, one would just keep on laughing, and never stop.

She seated herself on a low outcropping of grey stone and took a moment to order herself more comfortably before clearing her throat.

"Ahem. You're probably all wondering why I've asked you here." She started dryly.

14 pairs of eyes blinked back at her, then narrowed in varying states of emotion.

She narrowed her eyes back. "Ok... so that joke is getting a little old. Alright, I know why Lazy is missing... but where the hell is Courage?"

Her pink cloaked doppleganger giggled to herself and smiled. "She went after Lazy when she found out you were calling a meeting. She figured Lazy wasn't going to bother to show up. Isn't that nice? Courage is so COOL!"

Her brown cloaked counterpart rolled her eyes, hawked loudly and spit over the edge of the mindcliff. "Ahem. Yeah. Uh, whatever. All balls and no brains goes after the fuckin' toadstool, and we gotta wait around jerkin' each other's-"

Purple crossed her arms and turned her nose up at her companion's language. "Tch. Such profanity is HARDLY necessary. We are FAR too cultured for such low brow tactics."

Brown rounded to face Purple and grabbed her crotch obscenely with one hand, making a rude gesture with the other. "I got 'cher fuckin' low brow right here, ya fuckin' Prude!"

"Disgusting! Smug! Enough of this unnecessary and inefficient squabbling!" The two stared at Yellow suddenly, shocked that the normally calm and well mannered Smart had raised her voice. In mute answer she gestured to the Grey cloaked Timid, who shook like a leaf behind a low broken grey bricked wall.

"If you continue this incessant bickering we shall lose ANOTHER important component to our current quandry."

Disgusting rolled her eyes. "Oy. Fuckin' right. She's more likely to piss herself than tell us what's on her mind."

Timid looked embarassed and shook harder. "S-S-Sorry."

The other emotions (and Raven herself) edged away from the trembling and mortified Timid.

Well, all except Disgusting, who just grinned.

Yellow shook her head. "Immature and unwarranted. Logically, she cannot help but be scared, it is what she is. We do not take advantage of you just because you are incapable of forbearance from slovenly behavior." She sighed. "I would further argue that a little fear is a very important and wise feeling to have, in a situation such as the one which has presented itself."

"Hey, I calls em like I see's em. Brown scowled. "Anyway, aside from Pisspants, why the FUCK is SHE here?" She pointed at the Scarlet cloaked Raven sitting down with her knees drawn up, her head down upon them. Heavy chains addorned her wrists and ankles, stygian black iron chains which extended off into infinity.

As if in answer she raised her head slowly and oriented snakelike on the scowling Brown cloaked Disgusting, her four crimson eyes burning like coals. With the hood of her cloak up she cast a distinctly cobra-like shadow. The shadow moved oddly, not in synch with her movements, and it seemed to strike at the now not so brash Disgusting. She grinned nastily. It wasn't so much a grin as it was a promise of agony to the world.

Then said a single phrase.

Actually, more like hissed through bared incisors.

"Devil's Advocate."

She lowered her head again, apparently disinterested in the goings on.

The other Emotions and Raven shuddered involuntarily.

Timid whimpered. "I-I-I d-don't L-like HER."

Brown rolled her eyes. "Join the fucking club."

A loud and sure voice suddenly broke the moment. "Alright... we're all here, we can start the meeting now."

The other emotions stared at Courage, blinking.

Happiness giggled, pointing her finger and laughing. Disgusting grinned lewdly and catcalled. Smug shook her head and turned her nose up at the sight before her, sighing prettily. Smart raised an eyebrow, then seemed to catch the nuances of what was happening and just nod to herself.

Timid... well... she just seemed to clutch herself more tightly. "I-I don't LIKE crowds."

Courage sighed, then dumped Lazy off of her shoulders, crossing her arms sullenly. "She wouldn't come unless I gave her a piggyback ride here. I figured we didn't have a whole lot of time before everyone started freaking out without me here, so I did the expedient thing."

Happiness giggled. "Oh I LOVE piggyback rides. I bet it was so much FUN! I want one!"

The Orange cloaked Raven lying in the dust just snored. She remained where she fell, although she did arrange herself more comfortably.

Courage took a position between Rage and Timid, which seemed to calm the Grey cloaked Raven somewhat. She crossed her arms and gave the Scarlet cloaked Raven a look like she'd clock her one if she so much as moved the wrong way.

Rage didn't seem to notice. Or if she did, she didn't care.

Courage looked up at Raven and frowned. "So what's the deal, anyway? We haven't had a Catharsis since... Um..." She frowned.

Yellow broke in. "The last Catharsis was exactly 2 years, 4 months and 5 days ago, when we assembled to deal with Rage's attempted insurrection." She frowned. "Although that WAS brought on by an EXTERNAL source, in the form of Beast Boy Cyborg and the incident with Dr. Light, which would defy the Psychological definition of the word... I believe it still counts in the meaning Aristotle assigned to the word, although in that case, the potential tragedy was of course averted, but that is simply splitting hairs-"

Courage sighed. "Enough... we get the point. The time before that was when Robin asked us to join the Titans."

Happiness sighed dreamily. "Robin..."

Disgusting winked at her. "Uh Huh. I'd like ta rip that girly fuckin' uniform off with my teeth an' take a double fistful of cape with both fuckin' hands and RIIIIIIDEEEEE EM COWGI-"

Raven cleared her throat again. "Alright, that's enough of that. Before this meeting gets any more chaotic, let's open up the discussion. Catharsis is now in session. The topic of discussion is the Boy Wonder, who as you all know, has occupied our thoughts entirely too much as of late. Since emotional upheaval has become entirely too common, I called this meeting to discuss the possible options we have to deal with this before it becomes too..."

She paused, blinking, watching as Disgusting continued to gyrate and make convuluted motions with her hands. Happiness blushed and got stars in her eyes. Timid's eyes had become as large as saucers, and Lazy actually opened one eye and snorted before closing it and pulling her hood down over her eyes. Smug had her eyes covered, and was blushing prettily (albeit not garishly) and Yellow...

Yellow was...

Taking notes?

Yellow shook her head. "No, not anatomically possible. The sheer amount of pressure combined with the angle of penetration would result in-"

"WEIRD!" Raven shouted, finishing her opening statement. The other Ravens looked at her with varying states of attentiveness.

All except Rage.

Of course, nobody bothered to ask why.

Raven sighed. "Alright, I put it to open discussion. Each aspect will get a chance to be heard on the subject, and each is allowed one vote. The options are as follows-"

Orange never opened her eyes. "What are we voting on again?" She mumbled sleepily.

Yellow raised an eyebrow and turned to Raven. "A valid point, Self. Perhaps a certain degree of clarification is in order. To speak candidly, what, EXACTLY, are we talking about here?"

Raven sighed. She paused a moment, thinking deeply, then blushed very slightly. "A potential... relationship... of a... personal nature, with Robin."

Lazy stared at her with one half lidded eye before closing it and yawning. "I vote No."

Raven frowned. "Just like that? Why?"

Lazy yawned again. "Too much work."

Raven sighed. "Ok, one vote no... Next... Disgusting, why don't you continue?"

Disgusting stood up and scratched herself absently. "Well I ain't fuckin' one for pretty speeches and all that shit. I know you all think I have the emotional depth of a flounder but I've actually given this some thought." She grinned nastily. "Heh... ALOT of thought. Remember that one dream when-"

Raven narrowed her eyes. "Stick to the subject, Disgusting."

Disgusting rolled her eyes. "ANYWAY, here's what I think. Robin is HOT. Not like, yeah I'd do him if I had a drink or three, or, you know, maybe on a bet, but like I wouldn't kick him outta bed for eating cookies HOT."

She grinned. "Actually I wouldn't kick him outta bed if he wanted to do lines off a dead midget with clown makeup on, but I fucking digress. I'm not an idiot. I realize that anything we WANT to do with him is gonna take work, and he's probably not going to do alot of the things we've thought about. Bein' a half demon DOES have it's effect on our subconscious desires after all. Despite what the Prude will tell you." She snapped off a quick obscene gesture at Purple.

"Still, and this might come as a surprise to you, I wouldn't mind a nice, easy going, one on one relationship with him, because let's face it girls, we got BAGGAGE. Like a fucking AIRPORT. Robin's the only one we've found in the whole wide fuckin' world that'd put up with all our combined shit. I might also mention, if god motherfucking forbid, we went fucking bugfuck on him, he'd be the only one who could probably survive it. So I say we fuckin' go for it, because I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, IF WE DON'T GET LAID SOON I'M GONNA STRANGLE PURPLE TILL SHE'S BLUE."

She threw up a double devil sign and pointed them at Purple. "Fuck YEAH! You like that, HUH? YOU LIKE THAT BEOTCH?"

Raven blinked, then shook her head. "Alllllright. 1 vote yes, 1 vote no."

Raven looked at Smug. "Ok, your turn."

Purple drew herself up to her full height and shook her cloak out with a gesture of extreme dignity. Although none of the other Raven's would admit it, they all WISHED they had the grace and poise that Smug effected. She was better than all of them, and she knew it.

As soon as she opened her mouth to speak, Brown let loose with riotous burp. Purple glared at her.

Raven scowled. "Alright Disgusting, you had your turn. Now it's Pr-... I mean Smug's turn." She scowled. "Now you've got me doing it."

Disgusting beamed.

Smug didn't bother to acknowledge Raven's slip, she simply drew herself up again and began.

"I too, have given this matter serious thought. Despite what Brown has mentioned, I do not believe that Robin is the only "fish in the sea", to coin a phrase. I might mention that while he is undeniably a hero, he is NOT noble born, and this is a definate problem. Might I remind us all, that we are a Princess of Azarath. The last in a long line of noble blood. We owe it to our people's memory AND our future people's birthright not to MIX and dilute our heritage. We must, if we must deign to become romantically involved with ANY mortal, choose one of only the most impeccable bloodline. Furthermore, rutting like an animal with some BOY is NOT what I call defending the people of this world, to whom we swore an oath of protection. Further, we cannot ignore the feelings the Tameranian has for Robin. I shall refrain from making any comments as to HER mixing with humanity, it's not my place to say anything, although I question the nobility of a race which allows their children to go out in such... apparel. Like it or not, we ARE friends with her, and such a liason would hurt her deeply. I cannot abide such a reckless and ill thought out action.

"No matter how... pleasant the distraction might be."

Raven's face was unreadable. "Right. So 1 vote yes, 2 votes no."

The Pink cloaked Raven stood up next and beamed at all of them. Despite themselves, they all liked her. She was bright and cheerful, and impossible to make angry. Even if she was a trifle... unrealistic at times.

"I'm sure you all know what I think about the subject, since I've said it like... SOOOO many times. Still, since we're all being so honest and all, I might as well tell you WHY I vote yes."

She mustered herself, forcing her countenance into a semblance of seriousness, though her eyes sparkled, a bit of that laughter shining through. She smiled very slightly. "I don't get out very much. We spend alot of time being afraid, not so much for us, but for what we might do. We need to be brave, and sometimes callous and obscene in the face of what hurts us. We must be prideful and remember where we came from, and we wouldn't be who we are without intelligence to put together all the pieces. I'm not sure what good being angry or lazy has ever done us, but with lazy, well, she'll always head down the path of least resistance that's not evil, that's just existing. Even the evil that is within us... well, I'd like to imagine that there's a little bit of us in that stain that Trigon has put upon us, and in the end, that's what will save us."

Scarlet snorted derisively. Lazy snored. Pink didn't appear to be affected by either of them. She continued.

"Still, we aren't happy very often, and for good reason. We know that any happiness we have we have bought at the possible expense of others. I am a selfish aspect, and I know this, because I am our happiness. What little happiness we have felt we felt vicariously."

She smiled fondly. "Except for one. When he smiles at us, our hearts lift a little.

She turned to Timid, who shrank back a bit. "When he fears for us, our fears are shared.

She turned to Courage. "When he faces darkness for us, we find the strength to face it with him."

To Smug. "When he compliments us we find pride in a job well done."

To Smart. "One cannot deny that his intelligence matches our own, challenges us to meet him as an equal."

Lastly she turned to Disgusting. She looked down shyly, but blushed and kept her eyes on the spellbound Aspect. "And yes... we cannot deny that he has warmed more than just our hearts."

"On the subject of Starfire, I have mixed feelings, but not as mixed as you might think. I do not wish to hurt our friend, but if she is our friend, and what we have with the Boy Wonder grows into what we hope it will be, then as a friend can she deny us? If Robin chose her before us, would we not do the same for her, despite what feelings we might have? Would we deny ourselves happiness... real happiness of our own because of some possible, and here is the key; possibly unintentional, claim Robin might have on her heart?"

She looked down. "Might I remind you all that love must be shared for it to be real."

She looked up resolutely. "Might I also point out, that we are not taking into account Robin's feelings. What if, what if he wants us to be happy? What if being with him would make HIM happy?"

"The possiblity is too great. You know what I think. That's all I have to say."

She grinned and giggled. "YAY ME!"

Raven's eyes were distant... she appeared thoughtful. After a moment she looked up. "2 votes yes, 2 votes no."

Raven looked at Timid. She winced slightly. Then stood up, looking every which way for the blow she knew was going to fall. After a panic attack, she calmed herself and hunched her shoulders.

"Um... s-s-sorry everybody... I'm afraid of public speaking... a-an-and everybody is so FORCEFUL and... and OH GOD! Did Scarlet move!"

Courage crossed her arms and gave her an encouraging look. If it was possible, Timid hunched further.

"Well... I guess you all know what I'm going t-to say. Robin scares me. He's... he's so mysterious, and w-who knows w-what he's THINKING... plus he might have diseases... and... and what if he doesn't like me back? I mean... mean it's not just US... if we get twisted up or hurt... well, the world suffers..."

She wrung her hands together. "I just don't know... I really LIKE Robin, but I'm too scared... I mean, I don't want to lose what little friendship I have with him... and Star..."

She looked pleadingly at Raven, then at Happiness and Disgusting. "I'm s-so sorry, but I just can't vote yes... I hope you aren't too cross with me... I don't think I could bear it... I... oh... I think I need sit down... I might be coming down with something... what if I have a stroke! My arm feels numb! AH!"

She sat down and shook miserably.

Raven studiously did not look at her. "3 votes no, 2 votes yes."

"Courage?"

The other emotions watched carefully. Courage tended to be somewhat quiet when it came to such discussions, but her opinions were given alot of weight; she had NO illusions about herself. That she was so verbose on the subject seemed to suggest she'd uncharacteristically given this alot of thought.

Courage nodded and stood in front of all of them. "Like Lazy said, relationships take work. Despite that, despite what SOME of you might think, we've never shirked from something because it was too hard. Now I'm not as Smart as some of you, or..." She looked at Brown. "Imaginative... but I AM the guts of this little party, and this is what I think. What it boils down to is, we have to ask the question, am I turning away from the possiblity of an actual LIFE with an actual BOY because it's the only way to protect everyone, or am I just doing it because it feels like it's safer? So, to answer that question, I look at the Boy Wonder."

The Green cloaked Raven's face softened slightly, especially around the eyes. These were fond memories for her. "He's brave. He's risked himself so many times not just for us, but for ALL of the people who call for help. He has a strict code of honor and sticks to it, even when there is an expedient path available. I might add, that even though he KNOWS about Trigon, HAS known about Trigon all along, he still helps us. He still trusts us. We live in a cruel, harsh world. Death can come at any time for him, he's in danger because he's a hero... a REAL one. How can you not be inspired by that?"

She sighed slightly, closing her eyes. "So I say, he's already IN danger. What he said that night... it really touched us. We DO need someone to fight for. Someone to protect. I'm sure Smart can bring up a hundred instances where a woman became stronger because she protected a loved one... or something like that... you know? I'm not good with the facts. I only see what's right in front of me. We want to protect Robin, and We want to be there for him when HE needs someone. I'm Brave enough to admit that we need someone too... and Robin... he fits the bill. He's seen the darkness, and he hasn't turned away from it. He STARES into the abyss, but he hasn't become it."

"With Robin at our side, I honestly feel like we can face anything. Even Trigon. Half of victory is attitude. In this case, we have to risk everything to gain anything. What we're doing right now is a delaying tactic, because face it... we're losing. It won't happen in the near future, but what happens the next time a Dr. Light gets too close. We should never put Robin, put our FRIENDS in a position where they have to take us down. That's not us... and it's not right."

"I don't want to hurt Star, but either way in this, someone ends up getting hurt. And Happiness is right, damn it... are we going to throw away this chance because we're too scared we might step on someone's toes? To borrow a phrase from Disgusting... Fuck that."

"So... I vote yes. It's a risk, but it's WORTH it."

Raven nodded. "3 yes... 3 no. Smart?"

Smart stood up and composed herself. "I am not going to belabor the obvious in this case. I believe all the major points have been brought up in this case, and discussed thoroughly enough that any conjecture on my part would only be filibuster, pure and simple." She grinned slightly. "I am aware of my reputation for verbosity."

Disgusting leaned toward Courage. She whispered. "Did she make that up?"

Courage gave her an incredulous look. "Why are you asking me!"

Smart cleared her throat. "In any case, there is one point we have only danced about. As much as we trust the Boy Wonder from previous actions, one must not discount the obvious fact... we do not KNOW Robin, he has secrets we cannot plumb as of yet, as evidenced by his fraternization with the touched young lady the day previous. I might also add, that we cannot sense his thoughts, and so the subject of Robin remains a closed book."

She sighed. "While I cannot deny the obvious advantages to such a partnership of the heart, so to speak, I also cannot deny the lack of information..."

She spread her hands. "I am sorry, sisters. I must take a rational stand and point out that I do not have enough information to make an educated decision in this matter. In this, I have failed you. Having neither the evidence to confirm nor deny this decision's veracity, I must respectfully Abstain from voting... on the condition that should the evidence required come to light, my decision might change accordingly. That is all I have to say."

Raven frowned. "3 yes. 3 no. 1 abstained." She frowned, looking troubled. Then all eyes turned to the lone Aspect remaining. They frowned.

They did not like this at all.

Raven took a deep breath. "Rage? It's your... turn."

Rage did nothing.

"Rage... you get to-"

Rage leaped up suddenly, rushing towards Raven like a madwoman, frothing and spitting. The chains jerked her short and she landed on her rump, laughing and hissing.

A muffled thump could be heard as Timid fainted dead way.

"Don't make me a part of this FARCE daughter of mine..." Scarlet hissed sullenly. "You think me stupid? I know any words I have you will use to glean some nugget of how I truely feel on the subject... I vote yes, you vote no, I vote no, you vote yes... all around the merry go round... or maybe I'm trying to trick you? In any case will not bail you out of this decision... If you chose the wrong one and bring down DOOM upon yourself I want you to stew on the fact that it was your own idiocy that brought it down upon you."

She grinned evilly, her four eyes glaring through Raven and Courage, who had stepped between the two, her fists raised.

"But not for too long... you will have SOOO much to occupy you."

Her face turned sly like a dog about to nick a steak off of someone's plate, or perhaps a cat creeping up on a baby bird flopping about on the ground. "Instead of answering, I'll ask YOU a question..."

She narrowed her eyes, licking her lips. "Is this REALLY all it would take, Daughter. Beating yourself up over a BOY... A... MORTAL SPECK. Daughter, join me... swear your allegiance to me, and I will be merciful... I'll... ALLOW you your little pet... your toy... your plaything. I'll wrap him up in a bright red bow... all pretty and ready to be... opened up... Heh... torn into... heh heh."

Rage lifted up off the ground as far as the chains would allow her and rocked her head back, chuckling as she did so. The shadows writhed beneath her sullenly. "And when you break him... when you tire of him, and you WILL... I'll make a thousand more and LINE them up..."

She rocked her head to one side, lolling her head against her shoulder in an unnatural manner, like she'd just come off of a gallow's pole. She began to sing, her voice a parody of an old lullaby.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word... daddies gonna buy you a mockingbird... and if that mockingbird don't sing... daddies gonna-"

Raven's eyes blazed and she stood up. "ENOUGH. BACK TO YOUR CAGE, YOU MONSTER."

The chains jerked the Scarlet cloaked Raven back away into infinity, her voice a howl of thwarted rage and blood lust. The aspects shuddered at her retreat.

Raven sighed. "3 for, 3 against, 1 abstain, and 1 insane." She sighed again. "I don't get a vote... since I'm an avatar... you guys aren't making this easy on me."

Happinesss smiled. "I know it isn't easy, Raven. We ARE you, and you are, by your very nature conflicted... but I'd like to believe there's hope... Smart just needs to be convinced is all." She waved and disappeared in a poof of pink smoke that smelt vaguely of marshmallows.

Courage patted Raven on the back. "We'll do the right thing. We always do. Like Pink said... Smart's never let us down before." She frowned. "Well... except for Malchior... um, and maybe Terra... but that wasn't her fault really. Anyway, keep fighting the good fight... and remember... a look or two never hurt anybody." She ran suddenly and jumped off the cliff, yelling YEEEEEHAAAAHH! all the way down.

Disgusting shrugged. "Eh, fuck it. I mean, we got plenty of time left, and there's always masterbation right? Not that you indulge in that either, you fuckin' choir girl. I SWEAR I'm gonna go outta my FRIGGIN' MIND..." She sighed and wondered off, grumbling obscenities under her breath like a wino.

A really cute wino, but a wino nonetheless.

Smug shook her head. "You're doing the right thing, for now. I will abide by Smart's decision. Of course, I believe that she will decide in my favor ultimately... I DO know what's best. Ta." She walked off like she had somewhere to go, but not, god forbid, like she was hurrying.

Lazy snored. They ignored her.

Timid opened one eye and shuddered. "Is she gone?" She whispered.

Raven sighed. "Yes, Timid, she's gone."

"Oh thank god... I gotta go... um... she didn't..."

Raven shook her head. "No answer. We're waiting for Smart to decide."

"Oh... well... um... she's smarter than me so... I'll just... begoingnowgotsomethingtodoIhopeyouunderstandsorrybyebyenow!"

And she was gone.

Smart and Raven stood alone. Smart sighed and looked very tired. "I am sorry I could not resolve this issue for us, Raven. Sometimes the burden of being the brains is too much of a load for me to endure."

Raven smiled slightly. "It's ok, Smart. I know you're just being you."

Smart looked up. "There is... one thing. I was delving through our memories, searching for some piece of information we might extract from the Boy Wonder without actually prying into his affairs, and it occurred to me that we have SEEN that strange girl before..."

Raven frowned. "I'm sure I'd remember if we'd ever seen HER before..."

Smart shook her head. "No no no... not in person... we have READ about her... remember the books we took from the library before its destruction..."

Raven looked mortified. "The Grimoire! But... No... there's nothing in there that would..."

Smart held up her hands placatingly... "No no... nothing so terrible... remember the book underneath it..." She frowned. "I cannot... seem to remember what it was called, the memory seems fuzze and indistinct... curious... perhaps some psychological trauma? This bears investigating..." she mused for a moment, then shook her head. "Later perhaps. My suggestion, Raven... find the book beneath the Grimoire... I think the evidence points to that being the next logical step."

She sighed. "I don't know if it will help, but it is a start."

Raven nodded. "I'll do that."

She turned to leave Nevermore. Smart put a hand on her shoulder.

She stopped.

"I know... I know how you... how we wanted this to turn out." Smart looked down. "It's just... it's just that it's so hard to trust after Malchior... and Terra... we trust him and we don't want to lose that trust..."

Raven said nothing.

"For what it is worth, it bears mentioning that all of the emotions we most yearn for... well, with the possible exception of Disgusting anyway... all of those emotions are for such a union. If those are the emotions most present for the relationship we might have... I for one, would like to be the woman that would make us."

She let go of Raven's shoulder.

Raven smiled at her very slightly. "Me too, Smart. Me too. Off the record of course."

Smart grinned. "Of course."

So in the end, Raven left Nevermore with no idea how to feel for Robin.

Nevertheless, she felt calm and secure in her decision to find the answer.

Perhaps she hadn't left empty handed.

She knew it was something she wanted. She knew it was something to fight for.

Though time would tell if that would make the difference.

There was, after all, so much unwritten.


	4. Vitae Nocturne

A/N: For those of you who have read The Sandman, I apologize wholeheartedly for this chapter... as most of the information that Raven learns is of course, already known to you. Hence, the first part of this chapter will probably just be an exercise in review for you. I've gotten alot of reviews that start with something to the effect of , "...I have no idea what this whole Sandman thing is, but..." So listen up. The Sandman is a comic book written by Neil Gaiman and set in the DC universe (in other words, its not entirely far fetched to believe that Teen Titans, originally a DC comic, could crossover with Sandman, although the true nature of my crossover is somewhat devious, as you will eventually learn... if I'm feeling nice.). It depicts, among other things, a group of beings known as the Endless... basically personifications of different aspects of reality, or perhaps more accurately, of the realities of the sentient condition. It's important to understand something about the Endless... gods come and go, those lost pantheons of yesteryear rise and fall with the whim of mortal worship, some lasting longer than others, but throughout it all the Endless have watched with unchanging eyes... for even the gods are ruled by destiny, even the gods know sadness, or covet... gods know ruin, or dream of brighter futures. 

Even the gods one day must die. 

As the comic is named Sandman, you can guess who it focuses on the most. More in-depth, fluffy spooky information I have placed in the chapter before you. 

Generally speaking, the only way to find the Sandman now is in Graphic Novel format... released by DC Vertigo. I believe you can still order it on Amazon, although it has been a while, so you might have to find a copy at a good Comic Book store or Ebay... actually, in my home town you can find the graphic novels in Waldenbooks, but it's been about 3 years since I've lived in the States so...

There are, I believe, 12 volumes to the series, starting with Preludes and Nocturnes and ending with The Kindly Ones. There are also several specials released, including The Wake (an epilogue of sorts to the series) and the Death The High Cost of Living Miniseries (In which we learn that death every once in a long while, becomes a mortal woman for a day so she doesn't lose sight of what it's like to be a part of the human condition). There are various assorted other books that fit the timeline, along with two companion series, The Dreaming, and Books of Magic. If you think Harry Potter is cool, you should see a REAL kid wonder wizard/archmage in training... Timothy Hunter. Not to bag on any HP fans out there, but I like my wiz-kids with a pinch of sarcasm and some good old fashioned teenaged angst, not to mention a mentor you might have heard of... one John Constantine. That's not counting a love triangle between Tim, a girlfriend who got caught in the lands of Faerie and who became known as the Burning Girl, and a succubus who truely loves him after he set her free and gave her her name back.

As to how Robin is connected to the Dreaming, and how he knows Delirium, well... let's just say that Del (despite me telling her not to) pretty much said his name... of course, she's insanity (no I didn't use the wrong word there, as personification of insanity, calling her insane is somewhat inaccurate, because she's exactly what she's supposed to be. Besides, if Del is in anything, she's not in herself), so her name for him is probably a bit... odd. Still, the clues will continue to be forthcoming. If you guess his connection to Sandman by all means, shout it from the mountain tops... it still won't reveal to you HOW he came to be connected that way, or what I have in store for him and his fellow bird.

Also, thanks for the protestations of my age being meaningless or, and lemme tell you this was a trip to read, sexy. I appreciate the sentiment, believe me. One of you even went so far as to say I was a role model. I am deeply touched, although I don't expect you'd want to admit something like that in public.

You don't need to worry about me quitting the writing scene. I enjoy it too much to let go. Reviews like the ones you send me, well... let's just say I'm such a glory hound. Shameless really.

Oh and before I forget... I usually don't acknowledge or thank individuals for reviews in my author's notes, because it always annoys me when I go to read a fic and half the chapter is a laundry list of return compliments. I figure, my long A/N's are annoying enough without adding to it, right? The best return compliment I can pay is to continue writing the story you guys wanna see more of, right? Well anyway, every once in a while someone will write a review that I feel needs to be answered directly, and Absentia... damn. I don't know what to say. You pretty much hit on my own feelings for the story to a tee. It's always gratifying to run into a reader who really Gets It. That's what writing is really, it's the Author putting a piece of his or her self up for public view... no matter how fictional the account, no matter how corny the story, a good writer puts themselves into the story... I try to write, at least from a certain distance, from experience. The Navy has given me a wealth of experiences to treasure, and for that I am infinitely grateful. Most of my friends back home are just finishing up college, or have maybe settled down, and most of them haven't ever gone out of their home town. I'm living in Japan right now, and I've been literally around the world... experienced cultures that I thought were amazing, or just plain pissed me off, but the point is, despite what I might say about me being an old man, that's only in comparison to the majority of fanfiction authors. In reality, I'm pretty friggin' young to have done so much.

Anyway, I got off on a tangent, as you yourself did a couple of times Absentia, but I'll forgive you if you forgive me, eh? 

Role Model. Heh. Who'd have thunk it?

Hmm... since I have the potential to be a role model, does that mean I should watch my language?

Eh... fuck if I know.

Anyway, on with the show.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Violet flows from the wound in your chest. Black is the hole in which you rest. Your heart of gold was ripped in two. Soaked in the sickness that is you. Grey is the box that holds my head. Yellow's the wind when everyone's dead. Red is the blood dried on the rope. While green is your last hope. Colour me green - Green is the colour of my god." -Colour Me Green, The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets

Azarath had taken only three days to burn to the ground.

It had been a jewel, a city by a lake, crystalline blue waters beside white marble. Like any jewel she had her flaws, her tired, her poor, her criminal elements, but the priesthood, like any good jeweler, had cut along the flaws, shaping the city into a place that was regarded as sacred in its memory. Her piers rang with the calls of seamen, moving fish and goods in exponential amounts to both sides of the lake, her avenues and parks rang with the sound of laughter, and tears, the shouts of the restless, or angry, shrieks of children's laughter.

Life.

Trigon had come upon it like a wolf, blood thirsty and merciless. The armies fought as best they could, but how can mere mortal men, no matter how doughty their might at arms, face a god? The Lord of Hatred cast their figures into stone, and their cracked and terror struck images still grace the cracked and blackened wasteland that remains.

They went to the fight knowing that they would die. They only tried to give their leaders time to do something... anything.

They bought the life of a single girl. A single child, daughter of lost Azarath, and half demonic spawn of the Lord of Hatred, the Bearer of Scath, the Harbringer of Wrath.

A single girl, and the Azarathian equivalent of a steamer trunk. Raven had always known just how costly her life was. 

She would not allow herself to disgrace that sacrifice.

The Great Library of Azarath was once a proud ediface, a monument to progress and education, a beacon in the trackless night. Some of the books there predated Azarath, some of them predated the written word...

At least, as men understood it.

All of them were destroyed or in the hands of demons, trophies of war.

Knowledge is power.

The steamer trunk had contained nothing but books. One book in particular.

However, this story is not about THAT book. This author hopes that book never sees daylight. Certainly he would never stoop to write such blasphemy.

Some things one must never trifle with.

Still, it is worth mentioning that the books contained in Raven's weathered old steamer trunk were not written by Earthly hands. They represented works too important, or too beautiful, or just too damned dangerous to let fall into the hands of Demons, or god forbid, Trigon himself.

It should be mentioned that in exchange for that steamer trunk, Raven's mother could have saved herself, or even sent a guardian to watch over her daughter.

THAT... is how important the contents of the trunk were.

So it should come as no surprise to you, dear reader, that Raven took every precaution she could think of before opening the trunk.

She locked her doors, covered her mirror. She spent the better part of the evening painstakingly drawing wards on the walls in a silvery fluid that she took great care not to touch with her bare skin. She cast every incantation she could think of to prevent scrying and eavesdropping. She searched every inch of her room for intruders or hidden surprises.

Carefully, she pulled the trunk out of her closet. It was bound with chains over every inch of its surface. Unlocking and removing the chains was a painstaking process requiring several hours work. Each link had been forged of Azarathian steel, steel that during the forging process had been quenched in the freely given blood of martyred heroes. Raven, with her half demon heritage, got a splitting headache just being near the stuff, and had to handle it with thick insulated gloves. Once this had been accomplished, she opened the trunk carefully, and looked within.

It was not full of books. Rather, there were only three books contained within. The first, and most prominant within, was a small green diary... plain and weathered. Raven had read the areas her mother had made her vow to read once, and then set it within, never to look at it again. It contained, among other things, the spells and incantations, along with the techniques for meditation, the creation of a sanctuary of Self, which she used in her career (penance?) as a super hero.

It was also her mother's diary. Arella had kept it faithfully for the entirety of her centuries of existence. Raven was sometimes curious as to the sort of woman her mother had been. However, she didn't WANT to know what it had been like for her to raise a child knowing she would be the destruction of a world. She didn't want to know how HAPPY her mother had been before Trigon had forced himself on her, didn't want to know about the dreams and aspirations she had had before Raven herself had become a burden thrust quite literally upon her.

You can only stab yourself so many times in the heart before you just can't go on.

The second book within, by far the most infamous, was a steelbound book with a large clasp and lock set upon it. The Book had always existed, and all attempts to destroy it had met with failure. Wars had been fought over its ownership both for its covetting and for fear of it, men had bled their lifesblood upon it, and it could honestly be said that no good thing had EVER come of the knowledge contained within. In the world of magic, the Grimoire was considered with much the same apprehension as a tactical nuclear device. Everyone wanted to have it, but no one in their right mind would ever use the blasted thing.

Contained inside were spells of destruction, not of flame or pestilence, not even the gift of immortality or the severing of a man's soul. The spells within were spells of Unmaking. Of Undoing.

It was called the Grimoire. It had remained locked. Raven had no key for it. She'd never even sought it. It was said that the lady Arella had given it to one she trusted above all others. One who not even Trigon would dare trifle with. 

That same one had given Arella a gift, two gifts actually. The gift of visions, which... sadly, had ultimately led to her doom, and the last book.

It was a pleasant thing. Rich brown leather, finely crafted vellum pages. It was old, not as old as Azarath, but it had never graced an earthly library... it was the only one of it's kind.

Indeed, it was a book that should not have been at all.

It's title was quite simple, but staring at it, Raven could suppress a shiver of... excitement? Apprehension? Fear?

Maybe a little of all of these.

"Liber Curia Intemporaliter".

The Book of the Endless Court.

Raven carefully removed the Liber Curia Intemporaliter, taking great care not to touch the Grimoire. So much malevolence and bloodshed had been done in that book's name that she dare not risk receiving impressions from it.

To touch the thing might undo every good thing she'd ever done. That was, after all, what the Grimoire did.

She returned to her bed and sat crosslegged, staring at the book resting on her thighs. It had a pleasant weight to it, and smelled of dust and secrets. Taking a deep breath, she opened the book to the first page.

Her latin was somewhat rusty, and the book's author had apparently had a sense of the dramatic. It had the same sort of reverental air as an old, hand scripted and hand illustrated bible, the lifework of a solitary monk in a secluded monastery. Indeed, it was entirely possible that this is exactly what it was.

The first page that caught her eye was a full page illustration of a man in a hooded brown cloak with a bandage or blindfold drawn over his eyes, a large book in hand. She read the page next to it.

"Fatewalker, named Destiny, also Potmos. Eldest of Those Without End. His feet trod the path unerringly, leaving no prints behind. He casts no shadow, leaves no mark. He bears witness to the fates of mortals and gods alike. His blind eyes perceive the secrets of the world, of all things that were, or are, or shall yet be. His sigil is the Book."

Raven frowned. She turned the page.

A picture of a beautiful woman stared back at her, the artist had taken great pains to show compassion and gentleness in her gaze. The artist had depicted her in a plain black robe, almost a dress, the sort of thing that might have been popular several centuries ago. A shiver passed through her as she stared at the picture.

"Grandmother Death, named Death, also Teleute. Second of Those Without End. Her domain is the Sunless Lands, the destination to which all paths lead. She is the guide. All men, great or small, all gods, great or small, kneel to her but once, and once only. The End of All Things, the flutter of silent wings. Her sigil is the ankh."

Her hands froze. She sensed a deepening of shadows, the room seemed to draw closer. She looked up.

All was quiet. Still looking at the room carefully, narrowing her eyes, she turned the next page. She looked down.

Her eyes widened.

A dark cloaked figure wispy and lean was depicted. A tangled black mane of hair long and full, gloved hands holding in one hand a ruby, in the other, bag of something. The face was concealed behind a strange helmet, something that appeared to be, of all things, a gas mask... oddly out of place in such an ancient book. She stared at the image for a moment, unable to reconcile the strange emotion that leapt out at her. This figure... this... apparition... she had SEEN it before.

Her eyes flicked to the next page.

"Kinge of Dremes, The Prince of Stories, The Sandman, Lord of Sleep, The Shaper of Form, The Nightmare King, Monarch of the Sleeping Marches, The Oneiromancer, also called Morpheus, also Oneiros. The lord of sleep, the prince of stories, he to whom was given dominion over that which is not and was not, and shall never be. The Dreaming is his realm, and all who pass from the waking world enter and pay homage to him. Lord over all dreams... and nightmares. His sigil is the Helm."

"King... of Dreams?" She whispered to herself, her voice harsh with unknowable emotion. She slowly shook her head from side to side, as though clearing it. What were these Endless? Gods? Demons? Somehow she felt the words were paltry, too small to fit the concept. All who sleep, or die, or walk the earth seemed to be a part of these beings. Again her gaze slid to the pale, gaunt figure in the book. She shook off the mysterious sense of deja vu and turned the page.

There was a page MISSING. Torn out, it seemed. She frowned. The pages were not numbered, but she could clearly see the ragged edges of a page... no, two pages removed from the book. She looked into the box, but could find no evidence to suggest that the pages had fallen out there. In fact, she could find no trace of them at all. It seemed likely the pages had been removed long ago. If the book continued in a similar fashion, then one of the illustrations and descriptions of one of the Endless was missing.

She sighed. Hopefully it held no crucial information on the little girl, otherwise this whole gesture was nearly pointless. She looked at the next page.

The next page held two images, one of a beautiful woman... no... man? No... something. She couldn't tell whether it was a man or a woman. It was strange, and yet perfectly natural, the why this man/woman held her gaze. She seemed to wink back at Raven.

She flicked her eyes away, flitting towards the other image, that of a grotesquely fat toad of a woman, naked, her jagged teeth composed in an unhappy, sullen frown. She was surrounded by rats, and Raven frowned at the image. 

"The twins, two sides to the coin. Desire-"

Man/woman... him/her... Desire! Suddenly some of the little girl's odd speech made SENSE! This Desire must have been the one the girl had been talking about.

She felt a sense of trepidation suddenly as she realized the immensity of what lay before her. Somehow... Robin was involved with these beings... these Endless... and not periphereally. He'd spoken to the crazy little girl as though he respected her position, she realized...

Which meant... what? Robin had said something to the effect that the crazy little girl's brother had given him duties of his own to attend to... which meant that somehow... Robin served one of these Endless... or at the very least, owed one of them a favor.

No... no that wasn't it. The conversation he'd had with the little girl had implied that one of these Endless had given him a task of great importance... implied a relationship deeper than that...

She frowned in irritation. So many secrets... riddles hiding in riddles...

She continued to read.

"Desire, also known as Epithumia. It has eyes of golden wine, the color of desire... too see it is to love it, to crave and need it more than life itself. Cruelest of the Endless, it plays its games with the hearts of men and leaves wreckage in its wake. Fear Desire, for with it comes Despair. It's realm is the Threshold, a monument of Desire itself... its sigil is the Heart."

"Despair, also called Aponoia. She of the realm of rats and mist... and a thousand thousand mirrors. Her eyes gaze coldly from the backs of all mirrors... yet she takes no satisfaction or succor from her handiwork. She is the grey witch that pierces with iron hooks into the heart, the bleeding wound, the end of love, the death of hope. She is what is left behind when the flames of Desire unrequited have consumed the flesh. Her sigil is the Ring of Hooks."

Raven shuddered slightly. She knew this Endless... she knew it well. Her whole life had been a battle against her... she hurriedly turned the page, unwilling to stare at the flabby, corpulent form of Despair made manifest any longer. She looked at the next illustration.

Her eyes widened. Her heart beat faster in her chest, all but hammering her ribcage with excitement.

Before her was a small girl, her clothing different... older... a tattered shift, almost a nightie, one shoulder strap hanging carelessly off the shoulder leaving one prepubescent breast exposed. Still, it was unmistakably HER. The artist captured the blatant lack of regard... she seemed to have no care for her display of flesh. Her pinpoint eyes were mismatched just as Raven remembered, blue and green. She grinned lopsidely, her multicolored, rainbow hair twisted in all directions, a defiance of form or function.

Raven turned her eyes to the description.

"Delirium, also called Mania. Whisperer in the ears of fools and madmen... keeper of that which no man can know. Pitiful child, both ruler and victim of the chaos that is her realm, a place of no form or function, of all forms and functions. It is best to be at the foundations of all things, unless of course it is not. Riddle and conundrum, speaks she wisdom or nonsense? Perhaps not even Delirium knows. Beggar child at the table of the rationale."

She paused. An unfamiliar phrase appeared before her.

"Tempus Frangit"

Raven wrinkled her nose at the obtuse language. Was she reading that right? The phrase she was familiar with was Sed fugit interea, fugit irreparabile tempus. Or, "Meanwhile the irreplaceable time flies". Shortened in recent years to simply Tempus Fugit, or "Time Flies." Tempus Frangit didn't make much sense.

Time breaks?

She shook off her whimsical expression and continued.

"Time breaks in the absence of rationality, for even the Endless in their time will end. Delirium alone knows the truth of this, and perhaps this truth is the core of her existence. Her sigil is that pattern which is not a pattern. Chaos incarnate."

That passage made her head hurt and she flipped through the rest of the pages looking for some clues, but it all seemed like so much nonsense. It was as though the author was writing things out that even he or she didn't understand, and hadn't bothered to contemplate them deeply. She closed the book and set it back in the trunk, closing the lid and going through the motions of locking it back up on autopilot.

So it was confirmed. The little girl was definately an Endless. Delirium, she had been called. Raven supposed it was stating the obvious, but she certainly fit her name. She didn't understand the concept of these Endless, but it was as though she were looking at an iceberg... she KNEW that much of it was beneath the surface... that it's true immensity was hidden beneath the dark water, but there was just so much of it on the surface that she couldn't conceive of how much of it must be hidden from view.

And somehow... Robin was in it up to his eyebrows.

She telekinetically lifted the steamer trunk back into it's customary place at the back of her closet, wiped clean the Wards on her room, and uncovered the mirror. 

She still didn't know much about Robin... what she had learned had only served to make her nervous. She suddenly didn't feel quite so big a fish anymore. 

What was his agenda? Did he HAVE a hidden agenda? Could she afford to take him at face value?

How could she? Even that was hidden from view.

Sooner or later, she realized, she'd have to confront him on it. The thought made her nervous and slightly angry at the same time...

-Watch it, Raven. Here there be demons.- She thought to herself. She explored why those particular emotions popped up.

Nervous, because confronting him with what she'd seen might destroy the fragile trust that had somehow sprung up between them. As dangerous as it was, she didn't want to lose that.

Angry, because he'd forced her into the position of having to doubt him... when what she really wanted was...

What she really wanted was...

She closed her eyes. Indecision, thy name be Raven.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Alarm snapped on just as she was preparing for bed. With a suppressed sigh, she threw on her leotard and cloak, before phasing through the floors necessary to quickly reach the bundles of mixed emotions and single, calm tranquility that were her companions. She ended up, quite by accident, (that was her story, and she was sticking to it) phasing into the room right behind Beast Boy, who involuntarily changed into several different green critters before he managed to bestill his hammering heart.

"GAH! Doors! Use 'em! Like a NORMAL person!" He shook his head, exasperated.

"Didn't mean to scare the sheep out of you." She countered, pulling her hood over her head.

Robin, all business now, fixed them with a determined look. "Titans, we've got trouble. Johnny Rancid is back in town. Apparently, he's holding up several citizens at a local Starbucks."

Raven raised an eyebrow. Cyborg looked grim, and Starfire looked confused. Beast Boy shook his head.

"The last thing that goon needs is caffeine rush." BB muttered.

"Let's move out, but be careful people... something about this doesn't feel right." Robin fixed each of them with a resolute gaze, as if to emphasize his point.

They all scattered to their various battle stations, but Raven lingered a moment, looking at their leader. He fixed her with a serious expression, then explained himself as if he heard her silent question.

"This isn't normal for Rancid. He's strictly a thrill seeker, violent, unpredictable, but motivated by danger and adrenaline, not petty larceny, and he doesn't take hostages... they'd tie him down. It just doesn't fit his profile."

Raven frowned. "Something must have happened."

The Boy Wonder's features twisted very slightly as he walked past her, heading to the R-Cycle. "Or someone."

She followed mutely.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aside from the large number of police cars drawn up in a barracade around the quiet franchise coffee shop, the scene had an air of almost unreal quiet. Rancid had struck at that strange hour of twilight when only the truely dedicated night owls would be caught dead wandering near a Starbucks. This, of course, only deepened Robin's suspicion that this crime was motivated by something other than Rancid's need for speed. If he was knocking over a restaurant for the purposes of scoring a quick buck, why a Starbucks, at night, with only a few tired patrons present?

The silence of the night was shattered when a whizzing metal object slammed into one of the police cars, crumpling its door inward and creating a blizzard of safety glass shards, scattering several of the officers using it as cover. The cop car whined mournfully.

"THAT'S RIGHT, LITTLE PIGGIES, STAY THE FUCK BACK!" A voice roared out. "THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND THOSE TEEN LOSERS."

Raven shot a quick glance at the object embedded in the police car. A heavy metal disk with the logo 'Jump City Sewers' emblazoned on it. She blinked.

A manhole cover?

Robin broke the stalemate with a loud, authoritative shout. "ALRIGHT RANCID, YOU WANTED US? YOU GOT US. DID PRISON SHAKE YOU UP THAT BAD, JOHNNY? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU TO TAKE HOSTAGES."

Rancid stepped to the window, a girl held by virtue of her slender neck held in one burly, tattooed arm. He scowled at Robin, a double barrelled shotgun pointed at the girl's head. Raven frowned... there was something odd about his facial expression. On the surface, it looked like he was doing his typical villain's song and dance routine, that customary contempt for authority, coupled with sneering dislike for young heroes. Underneath that, however, there was a curious release of tension, as though Rancid had expected them to come, and was relieved now that they were here.

"Let the girl go, Rancid. This is between you and us."

That typical bad boy arrogance curled the biker's lip. He grinned. "Just some life insurance, Bird Brain. I'd hate ta turn Molly here's head into a modern art sidewalk painting. I needed ta be sure you jokers would show up..." He narrowed his eyes. 

"Well we're here. All you're doing by stretching this out is irritating me." The Boy Wonder's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Rancid cocked his head to look back into the Coffee Shop, then turned his face back to Robin, his eyes flicking back and forth between him and his team mates.

He was sweating.

"We're gonna take this nice and slow, Bird Boy... I got demands-"

Robin raised an eyebrow. Something about this picture wasn't right. REALLY wasn't right. He decided to go off the script.

"Name 'em."

The rest of the team gaped at Robin with shocked disbelief. He raised a gloved hand, still staring at Rancid. 

Rancid looked just as shocked himself. He blinked, as though unsure of how to continue, then quirked his lip. "Er... uh..."

Robin crossed his arms. "You haven't planned this out very far, Johnny... What are you stalling for?"

Rancid fell back on the last bastion of the ignorant mind... profanity. "Hey fuck you, I uh... some beer... and uh... a million dollars..."

Robin just stared at him. Rancid seemed to twitch, then tossed the girl away in disgust, shotgun levelled at the Boy Wonder. "Screw this bullshit... I don't care what that reject from A Nightmare Before Christmas says... I'm doin' this my way... LET THE MAYHEM BEGIN!"

He fired two quick shots from the street howitzer at Robin, who nimbly dodged to the side, tossing a Birdarang as he moved. The sharp bit of metal lodged itself in the barrel of the shotgun, which Rancid immediately ditched, running back into the Starbucks.

Several of the police officers opened fire before their superiors could shout at them to cease fire, civilian casualties a definate possibilty in any shootout. This only added to the chaos as every Titan started to move at once.

Starfire carefully lobbed a couple of starbolts his way, but missed widely since she was trying too hard not to cause any collateral damage that might hurt the civilians inside. Likewise Cyborg was running into similar difficulty, advancing resolutely and choosing his sonic cannon blasts carefully, at a lower setting than normal. The glancing hits he did score succeeded only in pissing their intended target off. With a growl of repressed rage he disappeared into the Gentlemen's bathroom.

Beast Boy changed into a Kangaroo and hopped quickly into the Starbucks, dodging around tables in a stunning display of dexterity, followed immediately by Starfire and Cyborg. Raven and Robin brought up the rear.

Cyborg stopped suddenly, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Wait... wait a minute.. stop guys... STOP-"

Starfire looked at him in confusion, blinking suddenly. "What is it, friend Cyborg!" 

Beast Boy stopped as well. "Huh? Cy... big, bad, and ugly on the loose... civilians at risk, what's the hold up?"

Cyborg dove to the ground and proceeded to tear at something.

"Rob, head back to the T-Car and bring up the little red box I've got under the driver's seat... right now!"

To his credit, Robin departed without raising an eyebrow.

Raven blinked. "What about Rancid?"

Cyborg shook his head. "Star... BB, you get em... find the hostages... quick. We have to hurry... he's rigged this place to blow. I'm gonna see if I can disarm it, but this looks..." he droned off, his face disbelieving.

BB paled to a lime shade and Starfire blinked, then the two of them shot off into the Gentlemen's bathroom in hot pursuit.

"ROB! Where the HELL is that tool kit!"

"Right here." Robin rushed just past Raven slid it across the well waxed floor in Cyborgs direction. It stopped inches from the kneeling half-metal teen.

Robin frowned. "What does it look like?"

Cyborg got to work with a screwdriver, perspiration starting to bead on his human skin. "Good... and by that I mean really bad. If you'd have asked me a week ago if Johnny could have pulled off a wire job like this, I'd have laughed at you."

Robin shook his head. "I don't think that's it at all... I think-"

Anything he might have said ended as Starfire and then a panicked Beast Boy shot out of the bathroom at breakneck speeds only a few scant seconds after entering.

"GANG WAY! HE'S GOT-"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRN TO BE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" The biker shouted as he crashed THROUGH the flimsy bathroom door, along with part of the plaster wall. Dust and debris rained everywhere as Rancid shot into the room on his custom hawg, chairs and tables kicking every which way. He gunned it heavily and reared up in a wheelie, then shot in a beeline directly at Robin. Robin dived out of the shop, shielding his face and head as Johnny shot over him, crashing through the glass store front and sending a cloud of flechette like razor shards flying every which way.

Which stopped immediately, bouncing off of a sphere of black energy.

Rancid shot down the street, weaving around the barracade skillfully. One unfortunate police officer stood his ground, taking aim. Rancid hit him full on and the sheer velocity folded the officer around the handlebars before tossing him pinwheeling to the side, his limbs tangling bonelessly. Robin picked himself up and scowled, tossing a look of gratitude back at Raven.

BB stopped in front of Robin. "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO! HE'S GOT THOSE PEOPLE CHAINED UP IN THE BATHROOM... THERE'S LIKE SIX OF EM IN THERE!"

Robin stopped for a moment, turning back to the team. 

"Cy... work on that bomb. BB... Starfire, get those hostages OUT... I mean right now... Raven..."

He ran for the R- Cycle, picking up and slapping his helmet into place in one smooth motion. Orienting on her. "Keep up... I have a feeling we're going to need some magical backup if we're going to avoid any more casualties."

She nodded resolutely, taking to the sky as Robin roared down the street after Rancid in hot pursuit.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A laughing, braying maniac shot down the street weaving around the last bit of sleep deprived traffic present on the nearly deserted Jump City streets. Immediately behind him, buzzing like the mother of all pissed off hornets, streaked the R-Cycle, Robin's cloak flapping like a flag in the shrieking slipstream. Raven concentrated heavily on keeping up, her own cloak drawn close against the cool evening air.

Once again, Raven considered the impracticality in her choice of a thin leotard and voluminous cloak for a costume.

Every once in a while during the pursuit Raven was forced to use her telekinesis to protect those hapless drivers who lost control of their vehicles veering away from Rancid, who gaffawed at the increasingly mounting property damage. Raven gritted her teeth from the strain of maintaining so much control over her dark powers at once.

"Robin, whatever you're going to do... you better do it quick." She muttered into her communicator. 

Robin didn't answer her, too concentrated on keeping on the fleeing villain's tail.

Rancid looked back for a second and did a double take. The grim, faceless helmet of the Boy Wonder implacably swerved around the impromptu obstacles Rancid left in the wake of his passage, ever present, like the two of them were tethered by an invisible length of chain. Robin reached onto his belt and pulled loose a freeze bomb, tossing it at Rancid, who merely dodged to the side. The freeze bomb shot past him and off down the street.

"HA! You SUCK!" He chortled. He turned back and just as quickly caught up to the slippery patch of ice the freeze bomb had left on the street just as he was attempting to make a tight turn. He skidded sideways across the ice, booted feet splayed out to provide traction that was eluding him.

He cursed under his breath, then the tires caught suddenly and he shot down the street with a whoop of fierce joy.

"You can't keep up, kid! Give it up!"

The boy wonder turned his R-Cycle viciously to the side to avoid the ice slick, going up on the sidewalk and dodging around a stop sign, then a fire hydrant, then a mailbox in rapid succession. He shot back onto the street a few yards behind Rancid.

Raven shook her head. Any of those impacts could have been fatal. This was getting out of control. She let out a deep breath.

"Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos..." She intoned. She reached out with her mind onto the speeding hawg making it's getaway.

She shuddered from the strain of it, straining to wrap the bike in her mental embrace. She wasn't able to stop it completely, it was going too damn fast, but maybe she could slow it down a bit...

Rancid growled at the sudden decrease in speed and the black tendrils of energy that gripped his hawg's tires. He reached behind him to his belt and pulled out his blaster, pointing it at Raven's hovering form.

"Eat this, Witch!" He hammered several shots at her.

She lost her concentration on the Hawg and was forced to throw up a mental shield, the blasts whining harmlessly off of the implacable black barrier. Her hovering faltered slightly.

Robin tossed another birdarang at the heavy metal biker, striking a glancing hit on his thick leather gloves and forcing him to drop his blaster, which flipped end over end, coming apart as it flew. Robin lost several feet dodging around the debris.

Rancid leaned into the next turn, coming up on a stop sign. He gritted his teeth, rage in every inch of his being, then grabbed the sign and ripped it clean off the street. He spun his hawg in a squeal of tires, leaving a smoking black streak of burnt rubber on the street from his skidding halt. Robin arched wide around him leaning away from him desperately as he realized what the maniac was going to do.

Johnny grinned widely, his face full of adrenaline and road rage. "NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! BAT... MAN!"

He swung his impromptu club around in a vicious arc, striking a glancing blow to Robin has he flashed by, his R-Cycle wobbling, just on the verge of being out of control. He turned his Cycle visciously, sliding sideways, one foot on the ground raising sparks as he desperately tried to stop his out of control slide.

Raven's eyes widened. Time seemed to stop as she saw the side of Robin's helmet... how crumpled it was. His visor was spiderwebbed, there was no way he could see through it.

The R-Cycle came to a halt, smoke rising from the Boy Wonder's metalshod boots. His head slumped forward slightly.

Rancid grinned at him, gunning his hawg nastily. His grin grew more malicious with each gunning of the engine.

Robin reached up with shaky hands, pulling off his ruined helmet. Blood pattered down thickly, dripping on the Cycle, then to the street beneath.

Rancid laughed. "Awwww... does the baby have a boo boo?" 

Robin dropped the ruined helmet to the street, his face a cold mask. His nose bled freely, and judging from the way he gritted his teeth, it was likely that his nose was broken.

He also had a vicious bruise across the left side of his face.

His MASK was STILL ON.

Raven stopped, spellbound by the intensity of that moment, frozen by indecision. Part of her wanted to stop this, wanted to reach out and protect... to...

Her emotions caught her off guard and she stifled them violently, a headache blooming from the reaction.

In that moment, Robin drew out his staff and flicked it into full extension.

Rancid's eyes widened, then he threw back his head and laughed. "AWESOME! BRING IT ON, BIRD BRAIN! I'LL SMACK YOUR DOME INTO NEXT WEEK!"

Robin raised his balancing leg and gunned the R-Cycle, tires squealing as he accelerated-

Raven's mouth opened up to shout out something that was lost in the roaring in her ears-

Rancid popped a wheelie, swinging his bent Stop Sign in a wide arc around his head like a barbarian before the front tire slammed back down and he shot forward like a horse out of the starting gates.

Raven reached out for Robin with one desperate hand, her mind flying forward but it was too late... too late...

Robin brought the staff close to his body, butting one end of it into his shoulder and standing slightly, leaning forward like a Knight about to joust.

Rancid came forward, his own weapon swing across in a slicing arm aimed right at Robin's unprotected head.

Something in Robin's face must of thrown Rancid off of his game, or perhaps the way the two bikes came at one another threw off his nerve. In any case, the sign missed it's intended target by barest inches, saving off a couple of stray hairs from Robin's exposed hair. 

Robin's staff slammed hard into Rancid's gut, lifting him bodily off of the hawg and holding him suspended for several seconds.

Physics caught up to the Boy Wonder.

A cycle is not a horse. Even a high performance, state of the art motorcycle like Robin's requires constant direction from it's rider to maintain a steady course. Robin's staff was NOT a lance, no matter how it was used. It is a testiment to his skill at riding that he didn't lose complete control over his Cycle. Instead, it veered widely to the left, forcing Robin to perform his balancing act again. The impact to his shoulder was transmitted through his state of the art armored costume, and his dislocated arm dropped numbly to his side, his staff lost in the collision.

Somehow, he managed to stop his crash course, coming to a halt and panting desperately for air.

The effect on Rancid, however, was considerably less graceful.

He buckled around the staff like a belt, spraying vomit and no small amount of blood from his mouth and nose and he went skidding down the street. His heavy leather clothing were all that saved him from a lethal case of road rash.

His unhelmeted head bounced every which way as he tumbled, but Rancid's inhuman endurance protected him from fatal injury, if not from a serious concussion.

The uncontrolled Hawg continued on for a few seconds before collapsing on its side like a dying horse. It slide several feet, spraying sparks down either side of the street before slamming into a parked minibus and entangling itself hopelessly with the wreck.

Amazingly, it did not catch fire or explode.

Robin kicked down his stand and slipped off of the Cycle, stumbling for a second before his balance caught up with him and he was able to walk a straight line. His steps built up speed.

Raven's heart started again.

Rancid was still curled in a ball around his gut, groaning and dry heaving uselessly. He started to uncurl and pick himself up, braced against the ground by one gloved hand, his other clutching his gut, on his hands and knees.

Robin reached him and never stopped, his boot flashing out and catching Rancid in the cheek, flipping him over onto his back in an ungainly spin. He spit out blood.

"FuCK!"

Robin's face was blank. His boot flashed out again and connected with Rancid's side, flipping him over onto his stomach. Robin slammed one boot down hard on his back and leaned down, his useless arm dangling uselessly at his side.

"You scumbag. What the HELL was this whole useless.. pointless crap about!" He hissed menacingly.

Raven stopped just a few feet from him, numb with shock. It was like she wasn't there at all, and Robin looked unreal, beaten up, blooded, but menacing... unnatural.

Dangerous.

In that moment, she could swear she didn't know the Boy Wonder at all.

Rancid gasped and shuddered, spitting out more blood and then a tooth. "Fuck... fuckin'... you... broke my fuckin' jaw..."

Robin sneered and leaned in close. "I haven't even started breaking you yet, Johnny... unless you want me to take you to places you've never in your worst nightmares imagined existed, I suggest you start entertaining me with the truth."

Rancid paled, shaking like a leaf under the Boy Wonder's grinding heel. "I can't... he'll... he'll fuckin' kill me if I-"

Robin cocked his head like a wolf. "What makes you think I won't?"

Raven snapped out of her shock with a start. "Robin! That's enough!"

Robin's head snapped up. His masked and hidden eyes met hers.

For a moment they were frozen like that... he seemed to be staring through her, as though he didn't recognize her.

His mouth dropped open falteringly for a moment, then he winced and reached up, grabbing his dangling arm.

He gripped the arm at the elbow then jerked visciously downward on it. With a sickening pop and a lurch the joint popped back into place.

He stifled a scream, it came out merely as a hiss.

She watched him in mute shock. "Robin... what-"

He let out a deep sigh and rotated the injured arm in a wide arc, looking for all the world like a tired boy in a cold hard world.

She fixed him with an implacable glare. "Robin... don't do this. This isn't you."

He winced as though struck.

Yet through it all, through every moment of it, she felt NOTHING from him...

He was like a void.

He shook his head slowly as though clearing it. Then he glanced down at the panicked Johnny Rancid.

"You're right, Raven. I'm sorry... I just-"

An inexplicable urge struck her before she could compose herself and she found herself acting without reason. Something about his pain focused her attention on the blood oozing down his face. She grabbed his nose hard, causing him to hiss again and jerk back. A moment's concentration and the damage was fixed.

He snapped his hand up and caught her wrist as she started to pull away. The unexpected human contact was a mistake.

A big mistake.

Raven took pains to avoid touching anyone without mentally preparing herself first. The reason was simple, physical touch was a conduit, not only for her powers but for the emotions... the thoughts... the lives of those around her. She was a powerful Empath, one of the most powerful, but her Empathy was largely untrained, under utilized... suppressed for the danger that it was. She avoided human contact for this reason.

She'd never unexpectedly touched the Boy Wonder before either of them was prepared before.

She found herself staring into the wide eyes of his mask, staring... and then drowning... drowning... slipping deeper... deeper inside...

For a moment she thought she heard a cry of dismay... and then...

A memory rushed at her headlong... she fell-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a duality of memory... one one level she/he swung high above the air, defying death as he/she slid from one trapese to the next, the crowds roaring in exultation beneath her/him. Her/his parents watched with glowing pride as Richard Grayson flew gracefully through the air, a Robin in all but form.

The pain... the shock of losing them. The vow for revenge... to be a nightmare to all criminals...

And yet there was something false... something dreamlike and distant about these memories. Inexorably she felt herself being drawn deeper, through the webs of fantasy, or perhaps merely deeper into the truth of Robin...

Then with a snap she found herself in the past.

The neck under her/his hands cracked with a startling, whipcrack of sound. The lithe, hateful visage of the man in front of her/him, face twisted and purple with pain and rage, slid out of her/his impossibly strong hands and dropped bonelessly to the ground. She/he stared down, struck by the oddity of his/her surroundings... she... no he... no... they... were not seeing exactly... rather, they were perceiving. The distinction was strange, subtle... but his/her perception was better than sight... things appeared clearer... more vivid... especially the maliciousness and rancor vibrating in the pitiful, beautiful, but ruined body lying at his/her feet. The hatred and spite rose off of the thing like waves of heat.

He/she stared down with satisfaction and more than a little smug superiority at the being in front of them. The pitiful sack of bones whimpered, it's voice raising rusty out of a broken throat.

"Kill... meeeee..."

His/Her lips curled back into a smile. He/she reached up and took off their black sunglasses, letting the reality of themselves appear to the widening gaze of the being on the floor. 

"I don't think so, Loki. I wouldn't want to incur the Death Curse of a god, not even a pathetic, weakling of a god like yourself. Still, I rather doubt you'll tell me where you hid the boy on your own."

He/she bent down, a silvery knife in his/her hand flicking out gracefully from his/her belt. He/she leaned close to Loki and went to grisly work, the tip of the knife penetrating the skin just beneath the eyelid...

Loki howled mournfully, a scream of agony.

Someone spoke behind her/him, hesitant, fearful in their intonation.

"What... What are you doing?"

The view shifted as he/she turned her head, staring at a large bird, a Raven, of all things. His/her mouth tightened in a grin.

"Tell me, Matthew..."

He/she raised a pair of bloody orbs in their hands, raising them to the Raven's startled gaze.

"Have you ever wondered what the world looks like..."

She/he raised them higher, until the plucked eyeballs were just before her own sockets. She/he grinned... Three grins... at once.

Such secrets... most important of all, the place where that thrice bedamned Loki had hidden the boy Daniel, and started this whole tragic mess.

"Through the eyes of a god?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The contact broke suddenly as Robin jerked his hand back, stumbling back against Rancid's prone and unconscious form and collapsing on his rump on top of the villain. He stared at her, his mouth slack.

"No..."

"No..." She cried, falling backwards as well, bruisingly to the hard pavement. She felt her face frantically, then hugged her arms to herself, her eyes wide.

They both lie there, trembling for several minutes. Gradually, they both regained their fragile composure.

They looked up at the same time.

"I'm-" He started.

"Sorry-" She continued.

"I didn't-" he said.

"Mean for you-" She rasped.

"To see that." He finished.

Rancid groaned underneath them, shifting uneasily.

They watched each other for a moment, the wreckage of two lives flittering between them. He stood first.

She watched him warily.

He reached down a gloved hand, his face serious.

She looked at it for a moment, her face a mirror of confusion. What she'd seen had made no sense... no sense at all... Ravens... gods... eyes... oh the eyes...

It worked both ways, she knew. He'd seen what HER life had been like. He also had an intimate connection to a moment in her existence... lived it through her eyes.

Yet he reached out a hand. He still trusted her.

She looked at him, a moment of indecision. Despite the terrible things she'd seen... the confusion of it... did she still trust him?

She reached up and took his hand, steeling herself against the contact this time.

He drew her to her feet.

The flashing of red and blue lights caught their attention... the mournful whine of approaching police cars, as well as the rumble of the T-car.

"Later." He whispered, then released her hand.

She nodded mutely.

They had alot to talk about.

Again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Do you start to get it now, Sandman fans? HEHEHEHE. 


	5. Between Pools of Light, Darkness

A/N: I'm not normally one to beg for reviews, so it is with much shame and abasement that I come to you now with authoric hat in hand. Not for this story, you understand, although every review is read and much appreciated in ANY story I write, let me tell you. No, I recently posted a second Teen Titans story, Stone Heart, and it has received no reviews at all. 

Now, I'm hard pressed to understand why, and it's disheartening to see something I labored over get lost in the crush of information traffic. So I have to conclude one of two things. Either one, no one cares enough about the story to read and leave a review, which is, of course, a possibility, or two, the story sucks so bad that no one bothers to leave a review.

This is where you guys come in. I beg you, onegai shimasu, take twenty minutes out of your busy internet schedule, look it over, and be honest. If it sucks, tell me so. I'll take whatever advice is given and use it to improve myself. If you like it, and want it to continue, please, tell me so. As much as I enjoy writing that story, if no one is reading and enjoying it, than I'm wasting your time and mine. I hope that all it is is that the little blurb used to describe the story isn't catchy enough to capture the minds of fickle young readers, and once I get a few people to give it a once over, they'll realize hey, this story has merit, and I wanna see it continue.

Of course, I am open to the possibility that I'm just blinded by my own ego, and that it sucks worse than a vacuum cleaner in space.

So here's your chance, fellow writers. Hit me with it. I'm a big boy, an' I can take it.

Anyway, I have a horrible tendancy to shift moods during conversations between Rob and Rae and I apologize for that. I would just mention that trying to write this Robin is something a difficult prospect for me... he's rather unpredictable. Since I can't ask myself what would Robin do, and then write that, and I can't ask myself what would.. AHAHA... sorry. Not gonna name him directly. Some of you already know and some of you are still clueless, so I won't go further with that. Suffice to say that a blend of the two is difficult because they are, in some respects, very alike, and in others so very different.

Plus, this Robin has the infinite ability to get under Raven's skin.

So if this chapter don' make much sense, I 'pologize. I go where me muse takes me, and she be a crazy bitch, she be.

Just so you guys know, the song below IS the theme song for this story. It so exemplifies the relationship growing between our two odd birds that I listen to it while I write.

On wit' the show foo'.

* * *

"This is so hard for me, to find the words to say. My thoughts are standing still. Captive inside of me. All the motions start to hide, and nothing's getting through. Watch me, fading I'm losing all my instincts. Falling into darkness. Tear down these walls for me, stop me from going under. You are the only one who knows I'm holding back. It's not too late for me, to keep from sinking further. I'm trying to find my way out... Tear down these walls for me now. So much uncertainty, I don't like this feeling, I'm sinking like a stone. Each time I try to speak, there's a voice I'm hearing, and it changes everything. Watch me crawl from the wreckage of my silence, conversation fading. Tear down these walls for me, stop me from going under. You are the only one who knows I'm holding back. It's not too late for me, to keep from sinking further. I'm trying to find my way out tear down these walls... Every time you choose to turn away, is it worth the price you pay? Is there someone who will wait for you? One more time. One more time..." -These Walls, Dream Theater

And the carnival began.

The flashing blue and red lights strobed out, lighting the scene with an ethereal sort of glow, like flashes of red shift, blue shift. Moving towards, and moving away. The T-Car arrived first, just barely ahead of the first few squad cars, disgorging a desperate Tameranian as surely as though she had been fired from a cannon. Seeing the blood on Robin's face and his uncharacteristically haggard look, she threw her arms around him and hugged him so hard that Raven was quite sure his head would pop off.

He grinned tiredly under the loving assualt.

"Friend Robin, are you alright? You look as though you have been hit in the face with the truck."

"Stop sign, actually." He answered, as casually as if he were refering to what was in the newspaper today.

Starfire blinked. "That is the... what is the word... irony?"

"Ironic." Raven corrected automatically, her head still throbbing from the deep contact. "And it isn't... ironic, actually. It would have been ironic if the stop sign had been what made him keep going. Since Rancid just tried to take his head off with it, it doesn't exactly qualify as ironic."

"What is it then?" Star looked between the two of them as though watching a tennis match.

"Painful." Robin winced. He watched absently as the paramedics on the scene patched up the now handcuffed Johnny Rancid.

"Dude... you SO kicked his ass! Way to go, man!" BB grinned at him enthusiastically.

Robin didn't react to BB's compliment. Instead he turned to Cyborg. "The bomb?"

"Defused. It was close though. I wanna know where a two bit punk like Rancid gets ahold of military grade explosives."

"That's an excellent question, um... Star? You mind letting go for a second? I just put my shoulder back into joint and I'd like to keep it that way."

Starfire blushed prettily, releasing him and hovering nearby, her arms demurely clasped behind her back. "I-I'm sorry, friend Robin, I'm just so pleased that you're alright."

Now Robin grinned. "Thanks Star. I appreciate your concern."

Raven rolled her eyes slightly and looked away.

It was entirely normal... a typical after battle reunion, and yet for Raven something had fundamentally changed. Her head felt full of... of him. She supposed it was the strength of the emotions involved that caused it... neither of them had been prepared for the incident, her caught up in her sudden, sympathetic whim, somewhat apprehensive about the stranger that had been moving around in Robin's skin, terrorizing Rancid. For his part, the moment had been full of pain, and anger... some small amount of guilt as well. She knew this, now, because of her connection to him.

In fact, if it hadn't been for that connection, she wouldn't have known he was feeling anything.

Such overwhelming emotions, especially coming from a source which had already wormed its way far too close to her fragile heart...

The wreckage of the minivan and Rancid's hawg chose that moment to explode. Several of the police officers hit the dirt, covering their heads with their hands as small bits of flaming debris rained down on the stunned crowd. The teen titans turned to the sudden concussive blast as one, various degrees of shock on their faces.

All save two.

Raven looked away, her ears burning with embarassment and mortification. She knew who was responsible for that near catastrophe.

Robin looked at her, a calculating... no, perhaps that term is too harsh... a measuring look on his face. He also knew.

Still, he said nothing. The firefighters pushed past the stunned group, immediately on hand to begin fighting the conflaguration.

Robin rubbed the back of his head tiredly, breaking the shock of the rest of the group. His body language drew the eyes of his team to him without him even saying a word. Even Raven found herself staring at him.

If she didn't obsess about him so much, she might have hated him for how he unconsciously wielded authority.

"Well, all things considered team, I'd call this a victory. Good job, Titans. Get some rest. You've earned it."

Starfire stared at him with slightly troubled eyes. "Perhaps I am not understanding your syntax, friend Robin, but you seem to be excluding yourself from the rest of us. Are you not a part of the team?"

He stopped, straightening unconsciously, as though someone wasn't playing by the rules. He turned to Starfire and grinned. "Sorry, Star. No rest for the wicked. There's a lead I want to look into."

Raven gave him a slightly confused look... What lead?

Cyborg voiced his own concern. "You got somethin', Rob?"

BB raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, did Rancid spill his guts?"

Robin turned sharply, looking back at Rancid being loaded into the ambulence. Several police officers got into the ambulence with him. They were taking no chances with the super criminal. Even if he was unconscious and beaten to within an inch of his life.

"No... it's probably nothing, but I won't get any sleep until I check it out." He half muttered this, walking towards his R-cycle. He looked tired and worn, which worried the rest of his team.

Robin never lost his composure. There was only one thing that made him look human.

Rather, one person.

They looked at one another uneasily as he mounted the R-cycle, a set and determined look on his face. Raven bit her lip for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of the decision before her. She made a snap decision that she'd probably regret in the future.

"I'm going too." She blurted out, somehow managing not to sound sheepish. The rest of the team looked at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"Someone has to keep you out of trouble, oh fearless leader." She intoned sarcastically, then drew herself back into the sheltering confines of her cloak.

She hated it when they looked at her like that.

It was almost as bad as when they looked at her like she'd grown a second set of eyes.

Robin, however, merely looked away, his eyes narrowing slightly in thought.

This, however, started an avalanche.

"I'm going too." BB piped up first. "Can't let you have all the fun, Rob."

"Yeah, you ain't the only one who can get a clue." Cyborg muttered, crossing his arms resolutely.

"I too, will join you." Starfire blushed prettily. "I find that I am often clueless, but I believe burdens should be shared."

Then she yawned hugely, and clapped her hands over her mouth as she did so, looking guilty.

Robin turned back to them and shook his head shortly.

"I said get some rest, damn it, and I meant it. I don't need you all slowing me down. Cyborg, you can't have but dregs left in your battery... BB, you just changed into a hyena and I don't think you even noticed, and Star, I wouldn't be surprised if you fell asleep flying home."

He looked at Raven, then... he started to say something, then thought better of it. "You know this isn't a good idea right now, Rae."

The team looked down as one, varying expressions of hurt or guilt visible on their countenances. Even Raven wasn't immune to his tone. Still, she had questions that needed answers, damn it, and how dare he run off like this chasing after the phantom of a phantom after what...

After what the two of them had been through? She shook her head tiredly. Too much had changed in too short a time. She wanted to sleep, dreamlessly. She wanted to meditate for hours.

She wanted answers that fit her nice, ordered world view. Answers that had nothing to do with Endless, or Nightmares... or eyes and ravens and has-been gods.

She looked up, having reached a decision. She fixed Robin with a steely gaze. "When is later, boy wonder?" She whispered.

His face went stony. His masked eyes met hers and they found themselves locked in a contest of wills. She tightened her lips.

He looked away for a moment, his expression hard. It softened after a moment.

"Alright. Raven, you're with me. The rest of you, get some sleep... you need it. Keep your communicators close. If anything pops up that Raven and I can't handle alone, I'll call you."

BB looked between the two of them with an expression that was three quarters surprised shock and one quarter poleaxed steer.

It didn't help that at the time, he WAS a steer.

"What the heck just happened?"

"The birds just reached a "Decision"." Cyborg sighed, making quotation marks before slumping tiredly and rolling his eyes. "And that's way too much stubborn, stiff necked stupidity for me to deal with this late in the... early in the morning." He corrected, after an internal time check.

Starfire hadn't moved from her downcast position. As Cyborg gently started to lead her back to the T-Car she cast a single imploring glance at Robin, which he didn't meet. Then she gave Raven a tired, hurt look before she ducked back into the T-Car. BB slumped into the car, too tired for once to even make a snappy comeback.

The T-Car roared off into the distance, leaving the two birds staring at one another.

Her stance was slightly combative... aggressive even, as though she was preparing for a fight. He started to say something, then seemed to think better of it.

She broke the tension with a tentative jab.

"You going ride that thing without a helmet, Robin?"

He glanced at his helmet, shattered and useless on the street. Then he looked at her as though considering how seriously to take that comment.

There was a guardedness between them now, and she found herself startled at how much that hurt her.

He shook his head after a moment. "No. There's no hurry I guess. Come on." He dismounted and started walking the Cycle down the street.

She blinked at his sudden accomidation, then followed him quietly, hovering only a few feet off the ground.

"Where are we going?" She asked quietly.

He didn't look at her as he answered. "Rancid wasn't in town prior to at least yesterday... I know that for a fact. He can't do anything quietly... unless he's sleeping something off. So he had to get into town in a manner that he normally wouldn't consider."

"Add to that the fact that his boots had some rock salt crust on the heels from where he dug them in to get more traction..."

She raised an eyebrow. "By sea? That's pretty farfetched."

"It's better than nothing. Besides..." He looked at the sky. "I have a feeling we don't have to be exact. We just have to be... close."

She looked confused. He continued.

"This was a distraction, Raven. Rancid didn't get that hardware by himself. He's working for someone... and I have a feeling I know who that someone is. The only person in the world someone like Johnny Rancid would be afraid of."

She narrowed her eyes. "Slade?"

He nodded. "The thing is, why go through the trouble of enlisting Johnny Rancid? Why not use any number of your own made to order goons to do it? He's marshalling forces, Raven... he's gathering power, and he can't afford to use a scrap of it for such a small portion of his plan."

His face grew intensely concentrated, he seemed to be staring off into the distance. There were several emotions in his voice, emotions she was now beginning to recognize because of her connection, however ethereal, to his psyche. Anger, disgust, mixed with shame and just a bit of grudging respect, even admiration.

He admired Slade, and he hated himself for it.

Something clicked suddenly for her. She stopped suddenly in her tracks, lowering herself to the ground. Robin stopped and looked at her quizzically.

"You think he's involved with my father again."

He never batted an eye. "Would Trigon let go of a useful tool he'd gotten his claws into?"

"Never." She whispered.

"There's your answer."

"You think he's doing something... something to do with Trigon."

He nodded.

"So you KNEW you'd need me to find him. You KNEW you'd only have to get close enough for me to resonate with the Taint." She was gaining speed, getting angry, a cold wind blew back her hood and she narrowed her slowly crimson turning eyes at him.

He said nothing. Simply stared.

"You manipulated them... manipulated me, so they'd be hurt and tired, and then you let me think I was doing it to protect you, let THEM think I was going to keep you safe."

Again, he didn't refute her claim. He simply watched her with those damnably hidden eyes of his.

"Tell me Boy Wonder... What the HELL are you? Where do you get off playing with them like that?" She spit.

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you mean playing with you like that? Let's be honest here."

"Oh, are we being honest now? I thought we were still hiding behind evasions." She spat bitterly

"Find me a better way, Raven. Find me a safer way, and I'll take it." He whispered, staring at her intently. "Find me a way where the only one who has to sacrifice is me, and you KNOW... I'll take it."

She shook with the effort not to give in to the sweet rage... to let loose and carve her name out of the city. She was so angry with him, so bitterlyresentful at his ability tomake her feel. Of course if she were honest with herself, she mighthave noticed there was no small amount of sexual tension there as well. Some things wererequired too much rationaleto notice however, and she was nearly beyondrationalization. She wantedto take what she wanted and leave nothing but ash behind.

He continued as though unmindful of the danger. "There is no other way. You're the only one who can find him. You're the only thing he's after."

He stepped close and she was forced to back up a step. If he got any closer it was all over for her. For them... for the world.

"Call me a cold, manipulating bastard. Call me whatever you want. But before you do that, take a look inside. You've seen what he's capable of. You know what he does. You stare into the abyss every night. You know what stares back."

He forced her to stare him in the face, meet those hidden windows to the soul with an intensity that prevented her from looking away, from denying the truth of his words.

"Better or worse, it's a part of you."

"Manipulate them?" His whisper was fierce and sure. "You're damn right I did. I'd do it again, in a heart beat. Not for me, or you. For them, I'd do anything... give them any small hurt now so they don't have to face a larger one later. So I don't have to explain to BB why human beings do what Wrath makes them do to one another, turn on each other like animals gone mad, gone wild with sickness and bloodlust. So I don't have to see the innocence in Starfire die, see the confusion, the hurt. See the wonder she has for humanity turn to so much betrayed pain. So I don't have to watch Cyborg try to tough it out, all the while knowing that the machine in him won't ever let him forget what it looks like to see Rage unleashed on the face of this planet."

He closed his eyes. "They're children, Raven. Noble, self-sacrificing, loving children."

He sighed slowly. "I know they have to grow up some day. I know sooner or later something is going to happen that I can't prevent or protect them from. Nor am I naive enough to think this would break them. Oh no, they're made of sterner stuff,my Titans. They'd face it and they'd survive, but they don't have to."

"Not while monsters..."

He paused. Took a deep breath, then met her gaze again, resolutely. "Not while monsters like you and me can face it for them."

All of the rage poured out of her as though he'd pierced her a hundred times, each of his words an arrow, stabbing her to death. She sagged, then straightened, looked away from him. She wondered if he knew how close he'd been to being...

He probably did, the bastard.

She knew he was right. All at once it was just too much. She'd grown up the moment she'd seen a world raped and bleeding, and known that it was her fault... that a part of her had reveled in the destruction.

"I don't want to be a monster." She whispered.

"Neither do I." He whispered back, as though confiding a great secret to her.

* * *

It was almost surreal, how alone they were after that. The adrenaline fueled insanity that was their pursuit of Rancid had concluded just shy of 1 am, and any sensible or intelligent souls were currently long abed. The streetlights did little to alieviate the early morning gloom, and in pursuit of dark business the two of them found themselves unconsciously drawing closer together, until the little islands of light created by the stark contrast between darkness and illumination appeared to be as intimate and inviolate a space as her own sanctuary.

In the manner of those not entirely sure of their standing with one another, of people with secrets, but not necessarily all of them, revealed to one another, they began to converse. It was pathetically tense at first, there was now too much between them left unsaid for them to be perfectly at ease, but there was also too much left unresolved for them to have their former companionable silence, and so they talked.

Of course, as conversations between her and the Boy Wonder often did, they soon found themselves headed towards dangerous territory.

Nor am I referring to the docks they were headed towards.

"Robin... What did you see?" She asked tentatively, in a sudden striking non-sequitor.

He blinked. "Hmm? See when?"

She was embarassed now, remembering that sudden intimate contact of mind to mind. If she concentrated hard enough, she could still feel it, a slight conduit into the inner workings of the mysterious, familiar stranger before her.

"When we..."

He frowned. "Oh." He turned his gaze back to the street. For a moment she thought he wasn't going to answer her, and prepared to ask him again.

"What did you see?" He said, not looking at her.

"I asked you first." She countered automatically.

He quirked his mouth slightly in what might have been a smirk, if he'd been anybody else. "I saw... a moment of telling humanity."

She narrowed her eyes. "What kind of-"

"Remember when you were nine, and you were supposed to be with one of your nursemaids, but you hated that they all watched you like you were going to start setting things on fire for the joy of it? You snuck out while she wasn't looking, and you went up to the hillside where the big gladden fruit trees grew, where the other children played. Only..."

She stopped, and he stopped with her. "Only none of them were there... they all went away as soon as they saw me coming..." She whispered, transfixed by the sudden recollection of something she'd only half recalled.

He continued. "That didn't stop you though. You never got out of the temple, at least, not without at least two watchers making sure you didn't get into trouble, or at least your mother. So you ran around... it was like you were trying to pack years of childhood buried under lessons about service and sacrifice into those few stolen hours. Of course, you didn't get out much, and you were still kind of clumsy. You skinned your knee on a rock, while you were playing on the hillside... and it was a nasty cut. You bled all over your robes, and you knew you were going to get scolded, because your nursemaid never failed to point out when you made the slightest mistake to your mother. You started to get angry at the rock, but you were really angry at-"

"Myself. I was angry at myself for being clumsy, and I knew that some of the other children were watching and that made me embarassed..."

"All of the sudden, the rock exploded, and the kids that were watching started screaming and ran away, and you felt..."

She lowered her head. "I felt like I'd killed someone. Like I HAD set something on fire for the joy of it."

He smiled. "When your mother found you after the whole temple got into an uproar because you'd disappeared, she found you at the base of the tree. Only she didn't scold you... she said something to you."

Raven didn't like remembering her mother. Doing that was pointless, remembering her wouldn't bring her back. All the memories did was stir up emotions best left dormant, best locked in a little box and hidden away in her hearts, to peek at carefully from time to time. She felt warmth flooding her cheeks, her eyes felt hot and stung.

"Mama, I broke it, and now all the children are afraid of me 'cause I'm a monster."

"Rachel, sometimes a rock is just a rock, and a dress can be mended."

"But..."

"Are you sorry for what you did?"

"Y-yes..."

"Will you do it again?"

"No..."

"Then I see a little girl, not a monster. Monsters don't have hearts, honey. Monsters don't care who they hurt. So you can't be a monster, because monsters don't cry, do they?"

Raven turned her face away, fighting the emotion down into a bitter lump in her throat and forcing it down, despite the pain. She calmed herself. Slowly but surely, she calmed herself.

"I'm sorry."

The voice caught her by surprise and she looked up at him. He had what was, for him, a chastened expression.

"I didn't mean to bring up something..."

"I never told anyone about that." She whispered. "I'd forgotten that day..."

He watched her. "Some part of you remembered."

"I guess so." She whispered hoarsely.

He furrowed his brow slightly, and it made him look several years older, it was such an expression of seriousness.

"She was right, you know."

"Hmm?"

"Monsters can't cry."

He turned his head back to the direction in which they were walking, his face deep in thought.

She puzzled over what he might have meant by that, and the sudden aching feeling she felt, like someone had punched her in the gut.

She realized suddenly that it wasn't coming from her.

He broke into her musing before she could really analyze that tidbit.

"So... what did you see?"

She swallowed her sudden nervousness. "Nothing that I understood, really. Did... did you really kill Loki?"

Robin stopped suddenly.

She watched him warily.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, mirroring his question earlier.

She was quiet for a moment, considering all she'd seen in the last few hours. She wanted more time to dwell on that little million dollar doozy, but she could feel the moment stretching like a spiderweb, tenuous and wispy, and if it snapped, something between them would be lost forever, it was so fragile.

She intuitively leaped.

"Yes." She whispered.

"No. No I didn't kill Loki. Although that was no act of mercy, let me tell you." He sighed.

"Was it... really Loki? The god of mischief, of Norse mythology? Isn't he supposed to be-"

"Bound in a cavern by the entrails of his dead sons, a serpent dripping venom into his eyes until Ragnarok?" He said dryly. "That's about the score, all right. He got loose, once. Something... happened, and the Norse Gods needed a negotiator, and if there was one thing Loki was good at, it was charming the hoofs off the devil. So they freed him, temporarily. I gather he was never very stable to begin with, and I imagine several eons in a cave with a snake might have knocked loose what few screws that he had left. He attempted a crime outof sheermad spitethat you'll just have to trust me was so terrible that had he succeeded, it would have meant the sanity of thousands upon thousands of beings."

Robin's face looked distant as he walked. "I stopped him."

"How can that be possible? Where did you lead this other life? Your whole life has been documented extensively... there's even a couple of biographies about you." She asked, exasperated. "What are you still hiding from me?"

He grinned slightly. "And how would you know that my life has been extensively documented, hmm?"

She didn't blush, but only just barely.

"What are you hiding from me?" She whispered fiercely.

He turned to her again. "What I have to, and only that." He noticed her slight narrowing of eyes and he shook his head. "Raven, there are some things you don't want to know unless you have to. Things that, for better or worse, change your perception of how the day to day universe gets by. You're bright, tough, and alot scarier than I am, but even you don't need more paradigm shifts in a week or two than is absolutely necessary." He sighed.

"I'd have spared you that glimpse into my sordid details if I could have."

He started walking again.

"Do you regret it?" She asked in a subdued tone. For a moment she thought he hadn't heard her, and she was perfectly willing to let the statement be lost on the wind. She felt a pang when he reacted.

He stopped again. "What?"

"You feel it, don't you?" She whispered quietly. "It wasn't just memories. Whatever we... shared, in that moment... it's still there." She frowned. "Maybe it has always been there... and we just knocked it loose. I know I'm supposed to be the expert and everything, but..." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly.

He turned to her, his face pale, then he shook his head slowly. "I..."

She glanced away, fiercely suppressing her galloping emotions. She couldn't do this anymore... gods, she wished she could make this terrible connection between them stop. It was too dangerous... it broke the status quo... opened her up to emotional manipulation on levels that she wasn't used to dealing with, and had no defense against.

He didn't even realize he was doing it, damn him.

He shook his head wonderingly, then took a deep breath. "I don't... regret it." He whispered.

She looked up at him. "What?" She breathed.

"I don't regret it." He said more firmly.

She blinked.

"There are alot worse people to share a bond with. Could you imagine being emotionally tied to Beast Boy?" He grinned softly.

She shuddered. "I think that's one of the Seals that the Lamb is supposed to open on Judgement Day."

Robin smirked now. "...And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red; and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword."

She blinked.

"And when he had opened the second and a half seal, I heard the second beast groan come and see. And there went out another horse that was green; and would not shut the hell up, and to whom all, including the Gothic Maiden was emotionally tied, and she did smite the world, in her mercy."

She choked at this, and the two of them shared a quiet laugh.

She looked away after a moment, the mirth leaving her slowly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trap you like this."

He sobered immediately, sighing. "It isn't your fault. You just chose a bad time to be compassionate is all. I had... lost control of myself, and you..." He looked down. "Actually, I should be thanking you." He whispered.

"What?"

"You shamed some sense into me." He frowned, his face darkening slightly. "He made me so angry. It was just so senseless... I mean he's always been a punk without a concern for others, but the way he ran down that police officer and just laughed about it..." His mouth twisted slightly.

She watched him silently, sensing he was fighting with something in himself, some undefinable sense of guilt... of shame. Empathy gave her insight into what he was feeling but she wasn't a mind reader.

-What is he feeling guilty about?- She wondered.

"Choices, Raven. People make them, and he just... tore that man's choices away from him, without a concern, without a care."

"Robin, I-" She stopped, her knees wobbling.

He blinked, a concerned look on his face. "Rae, what is it?"

She wrapped her arms around herself. "He's here..." She whispered.

"Where!" Robin was on edge, instantly ready to fight.

Her eyes went blank and she shook slightly. "A dark building... a warehouse, it feels cold... in my gut... can't breathe... can't move... eyes... watching... horror... pain... death..."

Her eyes snapped back into focus. Focus sharpenedfearinto determination. She had a job to do."Quick... I need a map!"

He blinked, then reached into his utility belt and pulled out a folded square. She shook her hands impatiently and he wordlessly handed it over.

She ran her fingers over it, unfolding it quickly, tearing it slightly in her haste to get at it. Her face took on a blank look as she moved her fingers over the slick paper, muttering to herself.

Her finger rooted on a spot as though stuck.

"Here... right here..."

He snatched the map and gave it a quick look before hopping on the R-Cycle. He looked back. "You alright?" He whispered.

She calmed herself visibly and shook her head. "No." She said in her usual monotone. "Let's go."

He frowned, then nodded and wordlessly lead the way in a shriek of rubber on pavement.

* * *

A/N: Actually I intended this chapter to be a bit longer, to include what they find, but I think I'll save that one fer later. Gotta do a little research first. He he he.


	6. Two Steps Back, Three Steps Forward

Author's Note: Sorry for the long absence folks. Those of you who are fans of my other stories are already aware of the reasons for it, and those of you for whom this is the sum and total of your Dust Traveller experience you should just be aware that sometimes real life intrudes rudely into my writing time, and when I must sacrifice things on the altar of expediency writing comes first.

At least until I get the hell outta the navy.

In any case, I also postponed releasing this chapter until I was absolutely sure I had it down PERFECTLY. This chapter is a both a turning point plotwise and a turning point relationship wise, and it had to be not only in-character, it had to be spot on, and in keeping with the tone of the narrative I have established so far.

I had to redo it a couple of times because it wasn't Gaiman-esque enough.

In any case, there was a scene at the end of this that I'm going to save until the next chapter, because I think too many crazy revelations in one chapter can be a bad thing as well, eh?

This chapter is brought to you by Absentia, who devoted several hours probably better devoted to sleep reading over my manuscript and ensuring that he met with her obsessive fangrrl standards. I would say that if this chapter stands out as a shining example of my writing, that a good 50 percent of the blame goes to her.

If it sucks well, that's just me. Unlike a lot of people out there, I share credit but shoulder the blame.

In any case, I hope you all enjoy the story, and it's on with the show!

* * *

"Quan vey la lauzeta mover/De joy sas alas contral rai/Que s'oblida es laissa cazer/Per la doussor qual cor li vai/Ai! tan grans enveya m'en ve/De cui qu'eu veya jauzion/Meravilh as I quar des se/Lo cor de dezirier nom fon./Ai, las! Tan cuidava saber/D'amor, e tan petit en sai/Car eu d'mar nom posc tener/Celeis don ja pro non aurai/Tout m'a mo cor, e tout m'a me/E se mezeis e tot lo mon/E can sem tolc nom laisset re/Mas dezirer e cor volon./Anc non agui de me poder/Ni no fui meus de l'or en sai/Quem laisset en sos olhs vezer/En un miralh que mout me plai./Miralhs, pus me mirei en te/M'an mort li sospir de preon/C'aissim perdei com perdet se/Lo bels Narcisus en la fon./De las domnas me dezesper/Jamais en lor nom fiarai/C'aissi com las solh chaptener/Enaissai las deschaptenrai./Pois vei c'una pro no m'en te/Bas leis qu'em destrui em cofon/Totas las dopte las mescre/Car be sai c'atretals se son./D'aisso's fa be femna parer/Ma domna, per qu'elh o retra/(Car no vol so c' om voler/E so c'om le deveda, fai.)" -Quan vey la Lauzeta, Mediaeval Baebes

(Translation, as far as I can gather, bear in mind this is Medieval French)

"When I see the lark beating its wings for joy against the sun's rays, until it forgets to fly and allows itself to fall for the sweetness that goes to its heart, alas! such envy comes over me. Of those I see filled with happiness, I marvel that my heart does not melt from desire. Alas, how much I thought I knew about love, and how little I really know. For I cannot keep myself from loving her from whom I will gain nothing. She has taken all my heart, my soul, herself and all the world, and when she left, she left me nothing but desire and a longing heart. I have not had control over myself, or belonged to myself from the hour when she let me gaze into her eyes - in a mirror that pleases me so much. Mirror, since I saw myself reflected in you, deep sighs have been slaying me. I have lost myself just as handsome Narcissus did in the fountain. I despair of women, I will trust them no more, and just as I used to defend them, now I shall abandon them. As I see none that helps me, against her who destroys and confounds me. I fear and distrust them all, for I know they are all alike. In this my lady shows herself to be a woman and for this I condemn her. (Because she does not want what she should, and desires that which is forbidden...)"

* * *

Robin sat back on his R-cycle with both feet planted firmly and surveyed the dark warehouse with his binoculars at x5 magnification. Beside him, Raven leaned against a lamp post and clutched her stomach, looking pale and distracted.

It had taken them exactly 16 minutes to get here... a single dark warehouse in a compound several yards away from the piers and docks. This warehouse was special; it opened up to the sea with a large concrete loading dock out back and large double doors. Robin suspected that the warehouse was probably used to move valuable or fragile cargo that couldn't be packaged and shipped normally from the other warehouses. Regardless, it was quiet, removed from the other warehouses and well insulated.

Meaning it was perfect for whatever Slade was doing here.

He lowered the binos and glanced at Raven. She looked as though the very darkness of the deeds done here were polluting her being. Worse, now that he paid attention to it, he could feel the bond she spoke of, a curl of misery in his gut.

"Raven... can you do this?" He asked quietly.

She straightened almost immediately and gave him a decidedly cold look.

"I'm fine, Boy Wonder. Let's get this over with."

"You're lying." He whispered.

"No point regretting what you've set in motion now, Robin." She hissed, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I said I'm fine, and I'll be fine... you don't know me all that well."

-Yet.- Something in her whispered.

She hid her weariness behind a cool, composed mask. "Can we get on with this?"

He put on a similar professional mask, his "game face", if you wanted to call it that, parked his cycle, and advanced slowly on the warehouse, his eyes open for any possible traps or clues. He pulled out a recorder bead from his belt and pressed it to his vocal cords, turning it on. Not only would it pick up any ambient noise in a thirty meter radius, it also had the capability to pick up subvocalizations from his own vocal cords, meaning that he could dictate to it in a tone that no one else would hear.

He began.

"Date is September the 22nd 2018, 0442 hours. Initial inspection of the outside perimeter appears secure... no immediate evidence of tampering on the fenceline surrounding the property. Note to self: look into corporation owning the facility for any possible links."

He stopped outside the rusty gate, taking a moment to examine the lock. It was a thick masterlock padlock, the sort you used to lock a gate that trucks could be driven through. He looked back.

"Raven, could you give me a quick fly-by... see if there's anything unusual on the roof? Don't get too close... just a quick glance."

She gave him a no-nonsense sort of nod and took to the sky.

Robin continued to dictate. "Fenceline has only one entrance from the shoreward side, a large double door gate secured with a masterlock industrial padlock. Examination of the padlock reveals excessive amounts of corrosion, suggesting the lock has not been opened in some time."

He tried the lock carefully. It was secure and wouldn't budge.

"Amendment, lock has not been opened in some time."

He chose a likely spot and climbed the fence like a monkey. Reaching the top he flipped his armored cape over the concertina barbed wire lining its top, then rolled over the padding provided by his cape, pulling his cape loose once he was on the other side. The space age fabric was designed to stop bullets and lasers; as he suspected, aging concertina wire had had no effect on it whatsoever. He proceeded to walk towards the large, dark building.

Raven dropped soundlessly out of the sky and landed next to him, her cloak spreading out slightly in the early morning sea breeze. The first few faint rays of the sun softened her lines and shadows, making her look less intimidating. He raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing out of the ordinary that I could see. There are skylights, but those are covered with storm shutters and padlocks... they don't look like they've been opened in a long time. Only noteworthy thing is that the storm shutters don't perfectly cover the windows... and there's some light leaking through from the inside."

He nodded, and began a careful circuit of the building. As he walked he pondered the odd state of events which had led to this investigation. More specifically, the link that now existed, or he had become aware of, between the two of them. On the one hand, it made his job easier. Raven was better at hiding her emotions than anyone he knew, even Slade.

Slade didn't hide his emotions. There is no requirement to hide something you don't possess. That's what happened when you sold your soul for power.

So this link between them made her easier to observe and anticipate. He wasn't a fool, far from it. He understood that there was far more implied in his mandate than simple observation and, if the situation called for it, neutralization. His master had a vested, if still mysterious, interest in Raven's wellbeing, in her struggle. He couldn't say that he blamed Him... it was this very solitary struggle that had slowly coerced him into caring about her in the first place. That, and the sense of belonging she represented, a sense of empathy.

He understood what it was to watch from the shadows and deny one's true self for fear of what it might turn into.

Some called him the Watcher, and they were correct... he was. The image in a mirror reflects the truth of ourselves, but does it not also stare back? A strange but brilliant young Howard Phillip Lovecraft had felt his presence on the edge of his awareness... his title garnered for this inspiration was Nyarlathotep... as evidenced by the fact that one of this messenger of the Outer Gods forms was the Blind Ape of Truth, but then, troubled minds obsessed with Egyptian mysticism and esoteria lend fractured views of a clearer picture. An occult obsessed band called Blue Oyster Cult caught a glimpse of his image in their drug fueled imaginings, and from this they manufactured the song Harvester of Eyes... and this was perhaps the most unflattering, and in some ways, brutally honest, image of him.

But he wasn't the first.

Oh no... not the first at all.

He had bits and pieces... memories of the him who had come before... of young men and women screaming, and the eyes... more than the eyes... the sight of his own grinning, arrogant face, of the terror and pain and disbelief, the betrayal that young life felt just before it was snuffed out.

His old master had destroyed him for what he had become; a failed and corrupt portrayal distorted from the truth by petty vanity, pride and spite.

He had deserved it.

Then he had been remade. Reforged, refleshed, reimagined. Call it what you will. He had stepped from the ashes of his old existence and into the cloak of dreams, once again the reflection of man's hidden self.

Then the Incident had occurred, and in the Master and his sibling's rush to mend the tear in reality, he had agreed to accept a task completely foreign and alien to him.

Of course, "agreed to" is perhaps a deceptive term. Yes, it was true that his master had ASKED him if he would do this thing, but it had occurred at a time when he was still trying to feel out his place in the Master's scheme of things... and finding himself at odds with the newly empathetic incarnation of reality.

All too often, he wondered if perhaps this task was really more of an exile.

If so, he wasn't bitter. He more than anyone understood the necessity of maintaining appearances.

Raven trailed quietly behind him, her face hidden by a cloak of midnight, a swirl of fabric here, a flash of leotard there. Her presence only felt as a suggestion of observation, rather than direct contact itself. As they neared the warehouse, light behind the heavy metal shutters became apparent, glinting like slitted golden eyes staring down at the pair. Robin seemed unaffected. Not for the first time, she found herself staring at him and wondering what he was thinking. His feelings were distressingly neutral for so dark a locale.

Studiously so.

Raven repressed a shiver. The ground itself seemed outraged; some great blasphemy had been committed here, something terrible and profane. She could feel the karmic wound like you can sometimes feel the sound of nails scratching down a chalkboard. Unpleasant, unnerving and most importantly, deliberately so.

Despite his colorful apparel, Robin was a wisp on the side of the warehouse, and she followed quietly. Once again she marveled at the sheer competence he demonstrated, his masked eyes catching details and painting them into a picture, ever alert, moving, aware.

They approached the back end of the warehouse and stepped onto the aged and weathered concrete dock. Rusted tiedown loops and a rickety wooden landing, no boats. Robin bent down and pressed a fingertip in a patina of fine grained white crystals. He looked back at Raven.

"Rock salt." He stood up and brushed off the granules, looking again. "Puddles. Fresh scrapes on the wood... there was a boat here."

She noticed something out of the corner of her eye and turned, spotting a dark stain on the concrete. She looked at Robin.

"Something here." She whispered.

He found what she was looking at and bent down. He scowled. "Blood. Tacky. Not old, maybe... half an hour, an hour at most?"

He pulled a small case from his utility belt and opened it, removing a pair of tweezers, a cotton swab, two small baggies, and a black felt pen. She watched in quiet interest as he dabbed the cotton swab in the edge of the blood stain, putting this in one baggie and marking it with the felt pen. Then he tweezed some invisible object out of the blood stain and held it up to the moonlight, his face neutral, studious.

"Hair. Black, straight. Not body or pubic hair... without a cross section I can't be absolutely positive, but I'm pretty sure this is head hair. Someone hit their head here. Hard."

He paused, considering this. "Drag marks in the vicinity... this is sloppy... not like Slade at all..."

"Who says it has to be Slade?" Raven whispered.

He turned to the warehouse. "It has to be."

"No... you WANT it to be." She maintained stubbornly.

"I..." He hesitated, then subtly firmed. "I do. One murderous psychopath is enough. We don't need another one."

Raven said nothing, merely watched him.

Inspection of the back door revealed that the chain and padlock securing the door had been cleanly cut, the links simply severed at an angle directly through one side. The work of a single stroke from a wickedly sharp object, rather than the bite of a pair of bolt cutters. The likelihood of this being a third or second party decreased significantly.

He turned to her with a serious expression, one gloved hand on the metal door. "Are you ready?"

She nodded mutely. His intense and yet simultaneously blank gaze left her strangely unnerved, and she fidgeted slightly. He turned his attention back to the door. He pushed.

It opened, light flooded the night. The first thing to hit was the smell... an overpowering carnal stench of death and the sad clinical facts of human life at its end... a foul mix of fear, sweat, blood, and the contents of voided bowels and bladder. A deeper, gassy scent rose in the air however, suggesting further, more grisly levels of carnage.

As well as the faint, distinctive odor of sulphur, and brimstone, just barely detectable above the miasma of human misery and pain.

A moment of blindness from their time outside, and then the contents of the room were laid bare.

Raven stood with her mouth open, numbed to her very core.

Robin was right. She didn't want ANYONE to see this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He stepped into the room after a moment's study, carefully picking his way around the puddles of gore. Raven blinked at his quiet acceptance of the carnage, and carnage it was. It was like... some macabre and terrible masterpiece... a butcher's work of art.

A ring of about two dozen men laid out in a broad circle, each with their arms stretched wide and legs together to form a "T", toes pointing towards a gory, blood-soaked center. Far more disgusting and profane however, was how each man had been killed. A surgically precise cut had been made into each man's abdomen, and their bowels had been carefully pulled out and worked like a daisy chain into a solid unbroken rope of entrails that formed an intricate and seemingly patternless mass strewn about the room.

Combining the large and small intestine, there are approximately 25 to 30 feet of entrails in the average human body.

It looked like every inch of it was being used here.

Aside from this blasphemy, each man looked utterly terrified, as though they had seen this fate coming and been powerless to stop it. Dead eyes stared sightlessly into the distance, focused on some terrible truth.

The universe didn't care.

Raven floated up from the ground, unwilling... no, unable to touch it. She had thought herself untouchable... she had thought herself in complete control, calm... serene... austere.

Not for this. Not by a long shot.

To his credit, perhaps, Robin was not as unaffected by the terrible sight as he seemed. He had paled, his face even grimmer than normal. In fact, had she ever seen his mentor or had the opportunity to travel to the future like Starfire, she might have recognized the harsh set to his features.

He and the Bat had always been a bit more similar than either of them would care to admit.

Still, she knew he was just as horrified, angered, and shocked about this. She could feel it now, pulsing along their link like an aching tooth.

He removed a device from his utility belt and bent down, touching its absorbent end into some of the blood that hadn't had a chance to dry yet. He shook his head.

"I count twenty two... odd number... no significance that I can recall... does it mean anything to you?"

She blinked, startled by his question. She thought back. Twenty two... twenty two... no... no... that didn't ring a bell... but it was so close to...

"Are you sure? There isn't...?" She asked, counting for herself.

"Twenty two... by my count... why?" He asked, looking at her hovering there.

"Twenty two doesn't mean anything... at least not to... you know." She found herself loath to say his name or even mention his relationship to her in this place... it STANK of evil, but that made no sense...

"But it's close to something, isn't it? Don't hold back on me... we need to know what we're dealing with." He was now staring at her intently. The machine in his hand beeped quietly. He looked down at it.

"Typical chemical composition of human blood, nothing special there... no common diseases. Blood type B+. No alcohol..."

He paused.

"Toxicity reports large amounts of coniine and coniceine... that's... not healthy."

Raven looked up suddenly. "What kind of chemicals?"

He looked down as though deep in thought, then snapped his fingers. "Coniine and Coniceine are alkaloids, I think. Piperdine alkaloids to be precise... pretty common in-"

"Hemlock." Raven finished for him. "I'm right aren't I?"

He considered her carefully. "Yes... there are a couple of other plants that it can be found in but it matches... something significant about hemlock?"

She looked at him levelly. "It's a common plant in certain black witchcraft and black vodoun practices chiefly because it is very easy to find and easily administered to an unwilling victim... but more importantly, before it kills, leaves the victim in a pliable... but still... aware... state." She turned away.

He waited patiently.

"Which is a particularly useful trait for rituals requiring a cabrit sans cor." She finished.

He frowned. "Goat... without horns?" Realization glimmered and he looked down. "Oh. Human sacrifice."

She grimaced and turned suddenly. "This is all WRONG. SOMETHING happened here... something terrible, but there aren't enough..."

He watched her for a moment, then did a double take. Walking towards her, he put the machine back on his belt and knelt on one knee near her looking down intently.

He slowly panned his gaze upward.

"Raven." He said intensely, looking up at her. From his kneeling position he appeared to be genuflecting or paying homage to her.

She blinked. "Robin... what are you..."

He wasn't looking at her. He was looking past her.

She looked up.

Another terrified face, this one gazing downward, the mouth open in a horrified scream. No hemlock for this unfortunate.

No sir.

He hung oddly from the cross beam, his blood had dripped down from his trunk and made the spatter pattern that had drawn Robin's attention. The way he hung was odd, boneless... too boneless.

It took her a moment, but then she realized why.

He had been flensed. With the exception of his skull, it looked as though someone had been wearing the victim as a suit, and then discarded him when he was no longer needed.

"Twenty three." He said quietly.

She rose slowly, dreading what her intuition was telling her but completely certain what she'd find. At a height close enough to the body to touch it, she looked down. She knew what she would see. She didn't want to see it. Of course she knew what it meant.

From this angle it all made sense.

She wished it didn't.

"By their mark shall ye know them, and all that observe it be curs'd. As a foulness shall ye know them, their talons clench about your throat though ye know them not by name. Begotten upon no woman, sired by no man."

He frowned. "What does it mean?"

She closed her eyes.

"It means I'm sorry."

He blinked. She could feel his confusion across the link.

"Sorry? What do you-"

"It means we're SCREWED alright? It means we're screwed and it's... She hesitated. "It's... damn it!" She snapped, exhausted and heartsick and confused and just plain scared in a way she hadn't been in a long time.

She usually wasn't anything... but today had been too long, her barriers were too frazzled, and too much craziness had happened today, and she couldn't get enough air and the room was spinning and they were all looking at her accusingly and-

She had no recollection of falling. Nor did she feel the impact.

He was always quick. That was one thing that hadn't changed, no, had become even more true after the Incident. He stood and caught her easily as she fainted, having expected something like this after the sudden rush of exhaustion and strangely, remorse he felt through the link.

He sighed. She always did blame herself first. He wished he hadn't needed to bring her here. It would hurt her, he had known that. Which is not to say HE felt any remorse about doing it. He'd done the right thing.

She knew it too.

He also knew that if he hadn't brought her here, had waited or ignored his intuition that he would need her for this in order to spare her, she never would have forgiven him. How odd, how these relationships worked.

He carried her outside, stepping carefully over the offal and looked down at her, his face soft... or at least, softer. She weighed next to nothing. Ate like a bird, then held in every bit of stress and emotion like a pressure cooker.

It was a wonder she had any vitality at all.

He made a mental note to force her to eat a larger portion the next time he had kitchen duty. She wouldn't like it. In fact, she'd hate it.

But she'd do it. She'd do it if he asked. He knew that now. He hadn't before.

Disturbing.

He set her down carefully outside the warehouse and turned, considering the mess on the floor. Those words sounded familiar, like an itch in the back of his mind. Twenty-three had long been a number of conspiratorial and mystical significance... something like the number 13 or the number 7 for things supernatural. Twenty two men in a circle... twenty two forming a circle...

One man above. What was his significance?

A circle... representing what... endless evolution? Infinity? Perhaps an opening... a portal... a gateway?

A gateway... with an observer...

He frowned. A helpless observer, a guide... like a drowning man in a storm lashed to the wheel of a ship, guiding it inexorably towards the rocks ahead...

He walked into the room and reached into his belt, tossing a line upward. Carefully, hand over hand, he climbed upward, nimble as a spider.

He looked down. From this angle the mess on the floor made sense. A pattern, intricately worked. It hurt the eyes to see it, hurt the mind... and more importantly hurt the soul.

He was rather glad he didn't have one of those to hurt.

To his far too canny gaze it stood out, blazed forth like a beacon, but an expended one... the remnants... the evidence of a signal fire.

It was the Mark of Scath, and something more.

Much more.

Carefully, he pulled himself up onto the crossbeam, leaning over the empty dead man like a ghoul. He carefully turned the corpse over until he could see the face.

The face, and the bulging eyes...

He shook for a moment. He didn't sweat, but his breath suddenly came in gasps.

He was like an addict contemplating a needle. Like an alcoholic staring at a bottle. That same old hunger... he had almost forgotten what it felt like. It was tinged with excitement, and the ever-present curiosity to see what could not be seen, lay bare secrets taken to the grave... but also more than that... it bordered on the sexual, on religious ecstasy.

He had made it so hard. No... he tried to make it hard for himself.

Despite his self-flagellation, it had always been sooo easy.

So simple. Like putting on a mask. Or a pair of sunglasses.

He didn't want to do this. He had left this behind him. By necessity... it was too much of what he had been.

Once.

He reached up carefully, with agonizing slowness, and removed his mask.

He tucked it onto his belt with exaggerated calm and thoroughness that he didn't feel. His fingers found their way to a seldom-used pouch.

His hand, normally graceful as a surgeon's, shook as he removed the pouch's sole occupant.

A thin bladed, strangely curved knife.

His eyes were closed.

He froze... hesitated. He swayed ever so slightly.

He stilled. No time for doubts and second-guessing. He needed to know. He needed to know for all their sakes. He could hardly ask her to face a part of herself she loathed and not do the same himself.

A part of him whispered that maybe he didn't loathe this as much as he should...

He ignored it. Mostly.

He opened his eyes.

They smiled.

He did not.

* * *

Technology, Robin reflected, was a wonderful thing. It enabled men to cross continents in the space of hours, to speak with their loved ones across great gulfs of distance. It healed the sick, cured the lame and made life better for most, if not all, of those concerned.

It also enabled one to carry an unconscious half-demon while controlling ones fine movement on a motorcycle with only one's legs.

Robin had taken a few pictures of the scene for his records and for later perusal, but he had already gleaned all of the information from the atrocity that he required. An anonymous and untraceable phone call to the police station would ensure that the dance of guilt and investigation would begin here. Despite finding the scene only an hour after the deeds had been done, Robin couldn't help but feel he'd failed, and failed badly.

Something dark and ominous had been born in his city today... something that every fiber of his body rebelled against.

He clutched Raven a little more closely. If his grasp was slightly protective, he was too busy concentrating on the road to notice.

She hung in his arms like a dead weight, not sleep aware, not even a little bit. The term he believed fit the closest was dead to the world. For the first time in what felt like a long time, but was actually only a span of hours, the link between them was silent.

His first indication that she was waking up was the strange fluttering of disorientation in his gut. Cautious, he carefully flicked off the autopilot on the R-Cycle and brought it over to the side of the road. She contracted in his arms, a very light moan of confusion and trepidation escaping her, then she stretched.

Her left hand struck his chest, jerked back as though his costume had burned her, then strangely slid back and explored the territory it had retreated from.

She slowly opened her eyes and stared up at him.

He had just a moment, just a fraction of a second to take in her completely unguarded expression, lips slightly parted in surprise, cheeks ever so slightly dusted with pink, eyes wide.

The moment passed, and her expression became a mask once more. She raised one finely arched brow and thinned out her mouth in what was almost a sardonic smile but not quite.

"I'm going to assume there is a completely rational explanation for this Boy Wonder, and not pound you into the concrete."

Despite himself his expressionless mask twisted into a small grin.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

She winced. "I would say like death warmed over but I don't even feel warm. Not that I don't appreciate the support, but would you mind putting me down?"

-Am I flirting!- She almost jerked at the sudden realization. -What the hell is wrong with me?-

He wondered at the sudden flash of embarrassment from her along the link. She showed no sign of it physically of course. Still grinning, he eased her off his lap and helped her to the pavement.

If he hadn't held onto her shoulder she would have fallen flat on her face.

-Whoa...- She thought as the world suddenly tilted fifteen degrees and whited out a bit -Maybe not... such a good idea.-

He gripped her shoulder and watched her carefully. She felt concern from him, but he said nothing.

"I know, I know," she snapped, just a trifle irritated. "I need... a little help." She allowed. Grudgingly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you think you can hang on?"

She narrowed her eyes at him slightly.

He shrugged, then moved forward on the seat a bit. He looked back at her expectantly.

She sighed, then moved his cape to one side and sat down gingerly behind him.

Precariously so.

"Raven... you're gonna have to get closer than that." His voice was studiously neutral, but she could feel the light warming of amusement trickling from him.

She refrained from acknowledging his childish amusement at her embarrassment and instead leaned very close against him, her hands going to his waist.

She was rather glad he couldn't see her blush.

He started a bit, a barely noticeable intake of breath, then covered the action by turning back to the road. "Ready?" He whispered.

She muttered something unintelligible in an affirming tone of voice, not trusting herself to speak.

Her grip tightened when he took off down the street, the wind whipping by the both of them and dragging her hood back from her face, forcing tears to her eyes.

She shut them, turning her face from the cold wind.

-Ah hell... might as well make the most of it- She thought suddenly. -Disgusting is going to have a field day with this.-

She leaned her face against his back, pressing her cheek against him. She warmed almost instantly.

It was... nice.

* * *

He said nothing as they made their way from the parking garage to the habitable levels of the Titan's Tower, and for that she was infinitely grateful. Perhaps it was her exhaustion, or perhaps the horrible events of the previous night had worn thin her emotional barricades, but when he gently provided a shoulder to lean on as they walked towards the elevator she took it without comment.

They didn't need to say anything. This was hard for them both. For the umpteenth time tonight Raven wondered at how much had changed between them in so short a time, all because of one careless gesture.

No... she reflected, that wasn't right. No it wasn't right at all. Things had been changing between them for some time now, it was just that they could no longer ignore it.

The elevator opened, they stepped in and she drew away, using the support bar for its intended purpose and a little bit more. Implacable as always, Robin stood his ground.

The trip upwards passed in silence, all too soon they were at her floor.

She stepped away from the bar and stumbled, jamming her shoulder against the side of the elevator. A potted plant across the hall shivered slightly and turned over, spilling dirt.

She stared at it as though it had murdered her dog.

He stepped forward and she jerked away, nearly falling into the hallway. She gave him her coldest look. The one that made Beast Boy turn into a mouse and flee like a little green billiard ball.

"I don't want your help, Boy Wonder." She hissed slightly. Which was, of course, a lie. Still, she was protecting him from herself.

"No, but you do need it." He observed.

She took a stubborn step into the hallway and collapsed in a crumpled heap facedown.

He crossed his arms and watched her.

"It's not such a bad floor." She reasoned. It sounded remarkably weak even to her. "I could get used to this."

"Raven..." He sounded tired. For the first time.

"I'm not just being stubborn. It's not... not safe."

"I trust you." He reasoned.

"I don't trust me." She snapped back.

She didn't hear him move. One moment he was behind her watching her in exasperated silence, the next he had scooped her up and was carrying her towards her room. She growled.

"I'm going to kill you." She said darkly.

"I'll take a rain check on that." He muttered, his breath stirring her hair slightly. She violently suppressed a shiver.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" She groused.

"I always LISTEN to you, Raven. You should know by now that how I interpret what I hear is another matter entirely."

He paused at her door and punched a few keys. The door opened with a swish and he carried her inside, pausing to turn on the light.

"Remind me to change my combination." She muttered.

He said nothing as they crossed the distance to her bed and he laid her gently on it.

It felt like heaven.

"Pajamas?" He asked.

Her eyes widened and she turned her head to regard him. He watched her intently.

"Get the... hell out!" She exclaimed, squeezing shut her eyes.

After about five minutes she opened one and looked in his direction.

He was still there.

She closed it again.

She sighed.

"Third drawer, left hand side. Sweats and a tee-shirt."

She heard him move.

"Third drawer, Boy Wonder. Only the third drawer. Open any other drawer and I will put you in it."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He muttered, laying something soft that smelled of laundry soap next to her face.

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

He turned and crossed his arms.

"You can't be serious." She muttered.

"As a heart attack. Let me know if you need any help." He offered mildly.

"Are you enjoying this?" She asked incredulously.

"Frankly? No. The only reason this is taking so long is because you're drawing it out. Accept the fact that you can't hide your exhaustion from me and that I

CARE, and move on."

She blinked.

It took almost more effort to change than she was capable of, but she managed it. She'd be damned if he saw her in such a pathetic (and frankly embarrassed) state. When she had finished she was pale from the effort. It wasn't hard to figure out why she was so weak. Earlier today she had performed a major Warding and Binding, in an effort to gain some insight into the Boy Wonder by reading that old book. She had been up for eighteen hours now, and those eighteen hours had included combat, healing, an empathic... bonding of some sort, and an hour and a half of shielding against the worst taint she'd felt since... since Trigon had come to Azarath.

She was operating on the dregs.

"Robin..." She managed.

He turned and watched her. His face was soft. "Yes?"

She just watched him wordlessly, unable to ask for help.

She didn't need to. He carefully gathered her up, pulled back her covers and tucked her in, drawing the covers back up to her chin.

"We need... to talk." She said idly as he snapped off the light. In the dark she was completely unable to place his location.

She waited for the door to open.

It did not.

"I know." He said finally. After a long moment she felt some movement on the bed. She almost started, before she realized he had sat down next to her.

She was quiet for a long moment, pensive. Calm radiated from him. That, and a strange form of resignation.

"What are you?" She whispered.

She felt him move slightly in the darkness, but all was pitch black. He was still sitting, but she got the impression that he was looking at her.

It didn't disturb her as much as it should have.

"Once upon a time..." He started.

She frowned, almost asked a question, then realized this was as close as she was going to get to a confession. She waited for him to continue. It was oddly hard for him.

"Once upon a time there was a wonderful boy who everyone thought could do anything..."

"He could fly without wings, he could see things that other people didn't want to see... go places others could not. He and the knight to whom he was a squire. He had never wondered why he was able to do these things others could not. Of course, if he thought about it, perhaps it was because people thought he could."

He paused, his voice tremulous and slightly sad. She waited spellbound.

"Little boys aren't REALLY supposed to fly, and little boys aren't really supposed to fight monsters. Fighting monsters is for knights and other monsters, not little boys. It was inevitable that he would make a mistake. One day, a beautiful Lady came to the little boy... and the little boy saw that she was sad, and asked her why."

"Your story is ending, but not because it should be that way."

"The little boy didn't understand, even though he was very, very smart, so he asked what that meant."

"You see, the little boy couldn't keep up with everyone's expectations, but he was a good little boy and he tried very, very hard. So hard, in fact, that one day his little body couldn't keep up anymore. The Lady asked the little boy if there was anything he wished, anything at all and the little boy said..."

Another pause, as though this were difficult for him.

"The boy said..."

"I'm very tired, and I would like to sleep, but who will the people have to expect things from now? They will all be sad if there isn't a wonderful little boy to fight monsters and fly and see things people don't want to see."

"The Lady smiled sadly and said, I'll see what I can do... don't worry. You can rest now."

"There was a fluttering of wings... And the little boy was gone."

"The Lady went on a journey. It was not a long journey, no journey was ever too long or too short for her, they were always just the right length. She traveled to a place you can search for your whole life and never find, though you visit it nightly. She went to her Brother and told him the story. Her brother's heart was hurt, and he asked of his realm, is there, anywhere, one that would give up his dream to tell a different story? One by one those who lived in his realm answered."

"No my Lord, for I am a Raven, not a little boy."

"No my Lord, I am a Librarian, not a little boy."

"No Boss, I've got too much damn work to do already."

"The Lady's Brother turned then to the lowest depths of his realm, to a place seldom traveled, and found one who had not answered his call."

He lived in a closet, sometimes in a mirror, and he knew that he was a monster. Not the bad sort of monster, not the hurt people kind of monster, but the monster who shows them their faults. He wasn't always the good sort of monster though."

Robin paused again for a very long time and Raven almost reached out to him. Almost. After a moment he continued in a whisper.

"This made him very sad. And the king of stories asked him, why did you not answer my call?"

"The monster was silent."

"The King of Stories would not be dissuaded. He asked the Monster, Will you be the wonderful boy?"

"The monster, after a long moment of deep consideration, replied."

"I don't know how to be a little boy. I nearly don't know how to be a good monster."

And the King of Stories said... just look into his eyes, and you will have your answer."

"So he did. The end."

Raven watched him in the dark. He seemed frozen, as though awaiting judgement.

"So which are you, Robin? Which is the real you?" She whispered.

"Both. Neither. Sometimes not even I know." He whispered back. "But I know... what I'm trying to be."

She reached out and touched his hand and he did not jerk away.

"I don't want to go to sleep, Robin. I know he'll be waiting for me. After a day like today... he always is. There is... there's no mercy in him." It nearly hurt to reveal this, but she couldn't help herself.

He squeezed her hand, the dark making both of them more honest than either of them would care to admit. After a long moment, he stood up and released her hand, the sudden flood of light creating a silhouette that both matched him perfectly and didn't match him at all.

"All you ever had to do was ask, Rae." He said quietly. With that enigmatic statement the door slid shut, leaving her alone in the dark.

Despite her best efforts, she fell asleep almost instantly.


	7. For Want of a Dream

A/N: I probably wrote and rewrote sections of this chapter more than any other chapter in this damn story. It isn't as long as I intended it to be, and the last part of it didn't turn out the way I expected it to. Sometimes I find my writing taking on a life of its own. It's sort of like a kid that way. One minute precocious and charming, you turn around and all of the sudden junior has a barbell in his lip and like five earrings, and is dating some guy named Dante. 

Still, regardless of the unexpected changes they undergo, you can't stop loving them.

They're a part of you.

My writing is like that for me. Corny and sappy sounding, I know, but hey... it's true. Special thanks go to Emaniahilel, for helping me make this a better chapter. Let's just say that she helped to dispell any lingering doubts that I wasn't on the right path.

In any case, this is a surprisingly important chapter, not so much for the revelations as to what's really going on, but rather for the personal realizations that the characters come to but for the I've decided that I will play this story like a good poker hand... close to the chest and stony faced. The speculations as to what's going on in the review section fly furiously with each new chapter, but suffice to say, I don't think ANYONE is expecting what I have planned.

Starfire has a rather extended appearance in this chapter, and the plot, of course, thickens.  
I particularly like the way that Star came out, I think I have a good handle on her character,  
and at some point in time I might explore her a bit better... there's depth there that hasn't been explored in the fandom... alot of Starfire involved fanfiction is trite and shallow. No one has come forward with a recommendation for a good Starfire fic, so I'm forced to assume that either the Raven/Robin fandom is the wrong crowd to be asking (probable) or that there ARE no good Starfire fics (unlikely).

It's not a betrayal to explore other relationships among the Titans. My preference will always be Robin/Raven,  
but writing fanfiction other than that isn't a betrayal. I will NEVER understand the flame wars about pairings. If you don't like the idea about a particular pairing, don't read it. There's enough intolerance in the world, we don't need something so petty to be added.

So I'm a civilian now. It's weird. Florida is gonna take some adjustment, but the weather is surprisingly similar to Japan's so at least THAT'S not a problem.

Oh, and Pirates of the Carribean II was bad ass.

Yo ho.

* * *

"Love is born with lightning bolts, electro-magnetic force. Burning skin and fireworks, a storm on a raging course. Like a force of nature, love can fade with the stars at dawn. Sometimes it takes all your strength, just to keep holding on. At the speed of love, a radiance that travels. At the speed of love, my heart goes out to you. Love is born with solar flares, from two magnetic poles. It moves towards a higher plane, where two halves make two wholes. Like a force of nature, love shines in many forms. One night we are bathed in light, one day carried away in the storms. At the speed of love, nothing changes faster. Than the speed of love, my heart goes out to you. We don't have to talk, we don't even have to touch. I can feel your presence in the silence that we share. Got to keep moving at the speed of love. Nothing changes faster, than the speed of love. Got to keep on shining, at the speed of love. Nothing changes faster, than the speed of love, my heart goes out to you..." -The Speed of Love, Rush

* * *

Still, that's something for a later date.

She wasn't as naive as everyone thought she was.

Many people, sadly even her teammates, made the assumption that just because Starfire could not express herself as eloquently as her comrades that she was naive and more than a little childish. Certainly she had been unaware of how much growing up she had to do when she came to this planet, but she was not a child. She had eyes and a heart. She could see, and she knew what she felt when she felt it.

There were drawbacks to learning a language from mind to mind contact. Tamaranians hadn't used this method when dealing with aliens for a long time. She'd been so sure, her need to understand had been so great, however, that she'd attempted it.

Despite the drawbacks, it was still the most effective method for quick assimilation of a foreign language. Regretfully, it translated the words but not the full connotations behind them. For example, it had taken Starfire some time to figure out that the word "cool" didn't just refer to the relative temperature of something. It could also mean that something was interesting or good. The word hot could have the exact same connotation as cool, depending on the context. Hence, something could be cool, hot, and warm at the same time. Robin was a good example of something that was cool, hot, and warm, though she'd never quite figured out how that worked. She had been embarrassed and confused many times. Such was a regrettable necessity.

Of course the biggest drawback was that the mind you touched, however fleeting,  
left an impression on you. This was why it was so dangerous. One had to be sure the person one was in contact with wasn't a deviant.

Having one's mind torn asunder by a violent and consuming personality was a terrible way to end one's existence.

Of course, touching a mind so filled with integrity, with compassion and honor,  
and yet at the same time tinged with guilt, sadness, and the beat of an inescapable duty had its own drawbacks.

From the moment she had touched his mind with that single hasty, if necessary, touch of lips, she had been lost. In many ways he made her the person she was today. You couldn't become so intimate with such a mysterious, frightening and wonderful mind without losing a part of yourself forever. She would always consider Earth her home now, even though she had not been born here.

The reason was simple. Home is where the heart is.

She wished sometimes that she could speak to Robin in the manner she would speak to her own people. It was so much easier to express love in Tamaranian than it was to try and use English. When she had remarked to Robin once that he was a ball of gas in whose emanations she wished to linger, he'd given her a look that was both slightly alarmed and vaguely confused. In an effort to spare her feelings he had nodded, smiled, and thanked her... but she could tell that what she meant, what she had REALLY meant, hadn't come through.

Elinu Este tulin Este Estenan, elinu este fingwe elino.

Your light is the light of the Sun, your light completes me.

She hadn't had the courage to try again.

So while her comrades slept the sleep of the just, she stayed up far past the point of exhaustion to greet her friends when they returned from this mission his duty would not let him set aside for a better time. It was important that they realize the home fires were burning, no matter what excuses he had made about exhaustion. Robin and Raven seemed distracted and insular of late, and she would try, with her sunny disposition, to take away some of their burden. She was very strong, she knew, and though she misunderstood humanity some of the time, she understood friendship. The burden was not too much for her to bear.

Of course they were gone far later than she expected. Despite her best efforts she fell asleep waiting for them, and only awakened when the elevator passed by the main floor. Startled awake, she floated to the elevator and waited patiently for it to open.

It was a long time in doing so. She bit her lip impatiently and stared at the thing in annoyance. In a Tameranian household there was no need for such a thing, one had simply to fly to the appropriate floor and have done with it.

Poor humans. To never know the joy of flying without restraint, free in the wind. Even though she flew, Raven could never really understand that concept. Some invisible chains kept Raven bound even as she escaped the bonds of earth,  
self-imposed chains, the most binding and unbreakable of them all. She viewed friend Raven with sadness, pity, and quiet respect. While she didn't understand the reasons that Raven denied herself everything, her time spent in the sorcoresses body had taught her that they were damn good ones. She respected the girl's wisdom and restraint, and trusted her all the more for it.

It only made her a little sad. She simply endeavored to show Raven all the harder that she was loved.

It took some time for the elevator to return to her floor, which puzzled the Tameranian somewhat, until it occurred to her that perhaps the two of them had lingered inside, thus preventing the elevator to return to her floor.

A slowly growing, strange feeling of alarm began to tremor in her. Puzzled, she tapped her foot impatiently.

Finally the elevator doors swung open and she entered the appropriate floor,  
waiting the five seconds or so it took to get to its destination. Upon arrival she flew out of the small space, her eyes flicking down the hallway and alighting on an upset potted plant that had spilled a small amount of dirt onto the floor.

There was no sign of Robin or Raven.

She flew down the hallway to Raven's door and, though she felt a small flush of guilt at doing so, pressed her ear against the door.

Robin was speaking quietly. She had to strain to hear her words.

"-Without wings, he could see things that other people didn't want to be seen.  
go places others could not. He and the knight to whom he was a squire. He had never wondered why he was able to do these things others could not. Of course,  
if he thought about it, perhaps it was because people thought he could."

Starfire frowned slightly, wondering at the strangely bereft tone in Robin's voice. What was he saying?

"Little boys aren't REALLY supposed to fly, and little boys aren't really supposed to fight monsters. Fighting monsters is for knights and other monsters, not little boys. It was inevitable that he would make a mistake. One day, a beautiful Lady came to the little boy... and the little boy saw that she was sad, and asked her why."

"Your story was ending, but not because it should be that way."

"The little boy didn't understand, even though he was very very smart, so he asked what that meant."

Was he telling Raven a... what was it? A bed story? No, a bed time story. That wasn't fair! She wanted a bedtime story too! She'd thought that might be fun ever since she'd heard of the custom but hadn't considered asking Robin to do so. A momentary pang of jealousy flickered through her.

"You see, the little boy couldn't keep up with everyone's expectations, but he was a good little boy and he tried very very hard. So hard, in fact, that one day his little body couldn't keep up anymore. The Lady asked the little boy if there was anything he wished, anything at all and the little boy said..."

"The boy said..."

"I'm very tired, and I would like to sleep, but who will the people have to expect things from now? They will all be sad if there isn't a wonderful little boy to fight monsters and fly and see things people don't want him to see."

"The Lady smiled sadly and said, I'll see what I can do... don't worry. You can rest now."

"There was a fluttering of wings... And the little boy was gone."

Starfire frowned. This didn't sound like a pixie tale. Robin was telling it wrong. There didn't seem to be any princesses, or knights... not even a dragon. Perhaps he was out of practice.

"The Lady went on a journey. It was not a long journey, no journey was ever too long or too short for her, they were always just the right length. She traveled to a place you can search for your whole life and never find, though you visit it nightly. She went to her Brother and told him the story. Her brother's heart was hurt, and he asked of his realm, is there, anywhere, one that would give up his dream to tell a different story? One by one those who lived in his realm answered.

"No my Lord, for I am a Raven, not a little boy."

"No my Lord, I am a Librarian, not a little boy."

"No Boss, I've got too much damn work to do already."

"The Lady's Brother turned then to the lowest depths of his realm, to a place seldom traveled, and found one who had not answered his call."

"He lived in a closet, sometimes in a mirror, and he knew that he was a monster. Not the bad sort of monster, not the hurt people kind of monster, but the monster who shows them their faults. He wasn't always the good sort of monster though."

Well that at least made sense. Monsters were part of pixie... no... not pixie,  
that didn't sound right. Elf tales? Boggart tales? Fairy tales, THAT was it.

Robin paused again for a very long time and Starfire strained to hear, thinking perhaps he had gone too quiet for her to hear through the door. After a moment,  
however, he continued in a whisper that Starfire could barely hear.

"This made him very sad. And the king of stories asked him, why did you not answer my call?"

"The monster was silent."

"The King of Stories would not be dissuaded. He asked the Monster, Will you be the wonderful boy?"

"The monster, after a long moment of deep consideration, replied."

"I don't know how to be a little boy. I nearly don't know how to be a good monster."

And the King of Stories said... just look into his eyes, and you will have your answer."

"So he did. The end."

It was silent for a long time, then Raven's quiet, dignified voice spoke up in the silence. Starfire almost jumped at the sound, it was so unexpected.

"So which are you, Robin? Which is the real you?" She whispered.

"Both. Neither. Sometimes not even I know." He whispered back. "But I know.  
what I'm trying to be."

Starfire frowned, confused. It was like they were speaking in code. She found that she lacked some vital bit of information that would make all of these riddles make sense (A/N: I'm sure some of you out there can sympathize. Hehe.).

Raven spoke again, her voice sounding tired, and strangely, almost on the verge of tears, to Starfire. "I don't want to go to sleep, Robin. I know he'll be waiting for me. After a day like today... he always is. There is... there's no mercy in him."

Who is waiting? Who would hurt her friend? Starfire wanted to shout that she would protect Raven, but she wasn't supposed to be listening. Suddenly the door clicked as they always did before opening and Starfire stumbled backwards, then flashed up and flattened herself against the ceiling, her face crimson with embarrassment and fear of discovery. Robin stepped halfway out into the hallway, then looked back into the room.

"All you ever had to do was ask, Rae." He said back into the room. He touched the button and the door closed.

Starfire wished she could see his expression but from her current angle all she could see was the top of his head. She expected to be spotted any moment, but as the Boy Wonder turned around he seemed greatly preoccupied with something. He leaned quietly against Raven's door and crossed his arms, his face in an expression of deeply troubled thought.

He stayed like this for several minutes, and Starfire nearly trembled with the urge to yell at him to go away. Finally he thrust himself from the wall and turned, walking slowly away from Raven's door towards his own quarters. He rounded the bend of the corridor and disappeared from view.

Starfire waited several minutes to ensure that he had ample time to get to his quarters, her heart hammering in her chest, then slowly eased down from the ceiling and peeked around the corner. The hallway was empty. She let out a deep sigh.

On the one hand, that Robin cared deeply enough about Raven to try to comfort her made Starfire's heart warm. It fit exactly in line with the sort of person that she perceived him to be. On the other hand, she couldn't help but feel jealous, at least a little.

It saddened her that such an unworthy feeling was inside her, but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel that way. Robin was everything she could have wanted, was exactly what she wanted in a boy. She resolved to keep a closer eye on him.

With that decided, she turned to her own quarters and quietly went to bed.

* * *

Raven twisted slightly in her sleep, a quiet murmur of dismay slipping from her lips. A tear slowly slipped down the side of her cheek, and she obliterated it by turning her face toward her pillow, as though trying to hide from whatever night terrors were tormenting her.

She sat in a plain wooden chair that was just comfortable enough to sit in rather than stand, but not comfortable enough to WANT to sit in it. Disorientation struck her and she tried to put her hand to her forehead, but she found that she could not move. Her gaze shifted slowly to the right, and she froze, one delicate eyebrow going up in confusion.

Her other selves, her emotions, were all lined up in a box of some sort,  
looking, depending on the emotion being observed, cruelly triumphant, absolutely untouchable, confused, attentive and worried, proud and defiant, hopelessly optimistic, and scared completely stiff. Courage, in particular was being physically restrained somehow, Raven could see her fighting her bonds.

Of course it wasn't rope that bound her, it was shadow. No, darkness made manifest and tangible. She realized with a sudden stunned epiphany that she was in a court room.

The clump clump clump of heavy boots on a wooden floor, and Raven turned her gaze, then gasped in shock. A hateful orange and black mask leaned down close to her, one baleful dark eye transfixing both of her amethyst ones like a shark. At any moment she expected it to roll over white, and ferocious jaws to open up to swallow her whole, such was the sense of palpable cold and predatory cunning oozing from him. The mark of scath glinted faintly on that diabolical forehead,  
but he seemed to take no pleasure in looming over her.

This was Slade, he took pleasure in nothing but power, and this wasn't HIS power being wielded here.

"Ah, I see our little storm crow has joined us at last. Well princess... it's been... a long time."

She scowled. "Slade. If you think-"

He leaned back and turned so that she beheld him in profile, that one eye glaring away from her now. "I don't have to think, princess. I don't have to do much of anything but caper and play the role set before me. It's a lot less painful that way. I would have thought you learned THAT by now."

He paused and turned his face to her. "But then... you children always have been slow learners."

"I have NOTHING to learn from you, Slade.," She hissed.

"Now now... temper temper. Is that what it's come to? I would expect this sort of moody defiance from my wayward apprentice, not you my dear. Still..."

Lightning fast he turned and put one boot on the desk before her, gripping the front of her cloak with one fist and lifting her, chair and all, up close to that one unblinking, inhuman eye.

"We can play it that way. Robin never told you the things we did together... I tend to be rather rough with my toys, but putting the pieces back together in an image that suits me can be almost as pleasurable as breaking them."

She choked, her eyes bulging. She tried desperately to maintain some sense of discipline but finally her face contorted into a grimace of hatred. A black field forced them apart as though the air itself could no longer stand his abuse, slamming him bodily against the stand behind him. She collapsed back to the floor and coughed wetly, blood oozing sluggishly down the corner of her mouth. She'd bitten her lip hard enough to draw blood from the strain of trying to maintain her composure, but just as he always did, he somehow managed to get under her skin.  
He stood and brushed himself off slowly, his eye never leaving her. A shape loomed over him and seated itself, four baleful red eyes burning her exposed skin where they touched. She recoiled instinctively from that palpable ink blot of a psychic presence, she could feel it like filth in her mind.

A flicker of something, a reassurance... she blinked in surprise and looked up. Suddenly her father was not so imposing... in fact in that seat of justice he was almost ridiculous. She blinked.

What... was going on?

Slade turned and bowed slightly to the Dark Lord of Scath, his eye unreadable. He gestured grandly toward the court.

"Your Honor, members of the... Jury... may it please you, it is to my distinct displeasure that I intend to prove without a shadow of a doubt that this.  
thing, this... abomination by her very existence is the single greatest hypocrite this court has ever seen."

Trigon rumbled, "Proceed."

Slade turned slowly in a precise angle and gestured towards the stand. "I call Azar, High Priest of Azarath to the stand."

Raven visibly winced and turned her gaze to the witness stand as a burning flame appeared. His features, normally dignified and kind, were haggard and contorted with agony, the eyes almost squeezed shut. An unearthly blue flame surrounded him.

Raven's lip contorted slightly at the sight of her mentor's torment. She tried to stand but the chair wouldn't let her.

"Stop this! This is-"

"Silence!" Trigon growled, and pain struck her, hot and intense, so quick and overwhelming that she slumped into her chair.

Slade placed his hand on the witness stand and leaned conspiratorally towards the beleaguered priest, his other hand clasped behind his back. At his presence the Priest visibly started and shivered uncontrollably.

His voice was a silken glove containing an iron fist. "Now, now. Please sir,  
if you would... for the record, state your name."

"A-zar... Holy-"

Slade raised his hand. "Just the name will do. We both know there is nothing holy about you any longer. Wasn't... quite the afterlife you'd expected, was it?"

He winced. "Sir... I-"

Slade turned and watched Raven squirm, crossing his arms. "Take your time."

"No. No it is not." He said in a broken fashion, refusing to look in Raven's direction.

Slade sighed. "What brought you, so strong of conviction, so noble of purpose,  
to such a state. Or should I say... who?"

He turned and leaned close in a mockery of compassion. "If it's too painful to say, you can merely point out the culprit."

He still wouldn't look at her. he simply raised a trembling finger at Raven. Slade turned to Trigon.

"No further questions, you Honor."

Azar disappeared in a puff of smoke. Raven gritted her teeth in defiance and simply glared murderously at the scene, this horrid mockery of justice,  
displayed before her. She KNEW that it was just a Shade, just a phantom conjured by Trigon's cruel manipulation, but the accusation was close enough to her own fears, her own regrets that it hurt, nevertheless.

So it began. A parade of Trigon's victims crossed the courtroom, a march of all of the sins committed in his quest for domination, and all of them laid at her feet. So many people... so many lives ruined because she'd been born.  
She knew it was a manipulative trick, she KNEW, but knowing it and feeling it were two very different things. There was always that grain of truth to it, that hidden secret guilt that Slade expertly teased out of her. It hurt.

It hurt so badly.

It cut worse than a thousand agonies of the flesh he could have exposed her to.

When she had to face her mother on the stand and hear from Arella's mouth how much better things would have gone if she'd been drowned as a child...

Well... she wasn't made of stone.

That was when it happened. A sudden crack of thunder, and Slade halted in mid tirade, looking suddenly alert. Where he'd been playing a role before, now he was all Slade, completely aware, completely focused.

Trigon roared. "What is THIS! Who DARES?"

A figure she couldn't turn to see began to clap contemptuously, advancing slowly towards the front of the court. Courage's eyes widened in recognition, Happy gave a bright sunny smile of complete joy, Rage scowled and fought her bonds,  
Smart blinked, then took on a considering look, Disgusting winked and licked her lip suggestively, Fear... had fainted a long time ago, Lazy was also unconscious for different reasons, and Smug looked on in stunned (but dignified)  
disbelief.

Slade let out a single amused snort. "My dear Apprentice. So NICE of you to join us. Whatever are you doing in such a nasty place?"

Robin advanced slowly into Raven's field of vision, and she fought desperately to free herself. What was going on? Why was HE here?

Turning very slightly so that she could see, he gave her a very small smile.  
the sort of smile he always gave to them. The smile that said everything was going to be ok... even if it appeared as though all was lost. None of the Titans were immune to it.

She least of all.

He was never overly expressive in his facial animation but the smile was so fundamentally Robin, so very him that despite the desperate nature of their current situation she felt herself believing in him... believing that it was him.

And yet...

At the same time it WASN'T him. A shape loomed along with him, a strange shape. A well-built, slender, pale man possibly in his early to mid thirties occupied the same space as the adolescent Boy Wonder, a man with raven dark hair and a pleasant, if slightly devilish, grin. He wore slacks and a simple wife-beater teeshirt that showed off his statuesque, lean, wolfish physique to perfect advantage. In a way, it was what Raven thought Robin would look like when he grew older, and at the same time, not him at all. His eyes, strangely, were hidden behind dark sunglasses, the sort that a blind man would wear.

It was the Boy Wonder, and it was also not the Boy Wonder. Separate, and yet the same. A single being walking in a single body with two distinct faces.

"Nasty?" Robin-And-The-Other said in an offhand manner.

He was not angry and combative as Robin would have been to Slade in a normal confrontation, but there was nothing NORMAL about this confrontation at all. "You don't know what Nasty is."

Slade showed no sign of discomfort or worry when the Boy Wonder didn't instantly react to his jibe, nor was he upset at the appearance of his nemesis in a place that should have been completely under his control. He merely shifted tactics.

"Coming to the lady's defense are we? Very chivalrous of you, if futile. My Master-"

Robin shook his head. "Master? A Lapdog now? Slade... you really have no idea who you're fucking with. Now, we have a suggestion for you. Deconstructing you here would be... unfair. However, if you press the issue..."

He turned away from the jury box and Raven, and slowly removed his mask/sunglasses in a deliberate manner that suggested he was making some terrible revelation.

Slade showed no visible reaction, he simply continued to stare, that one eye burning coldly, but Trigon snarled.

"YOU! What are YOU doing here?"

Robin gave no visible acknowledgment of Trigon, much to the Demon's displeasure. His eyes were only for Slade. As he spoke he remained completely inanimate, like a statue, staring into the face of the Abyss. "Press us, Wilson. Press us and we'll finish the job your wife botched, so we can see what the world looks like through the eye of a puppet. Who are you under the mask, Wilson? You go to great pains to hide it... but you're a scared old man who just found out he's a very tiny turd in a very large bowl"  
Whatever was reflected back by the dark mirror evoked a reaction from the normally unflappable Archcriminal. Slade clenched his fists and narrowed that one cold eye. "You don't scare me, boy. I'll-"

Trigon snarled. "Go. Leave us. I will deal with this."

Slade never took his eye off the Boy Wonder, his hands still clenched. His rage was almost palpable.

"I said GO, SLAVE!" Trigon roared again.

Slade burst into flame. From the way his mask contorted it was obviously not his intention to do so. Still, he stood for a moment, staring mercilessly through the agony, defiant, as though by will alone he would remain, a towering inferno that cast heat into the whole room, and then he disappeared with a flash of light and a roar that was the very essence of frustrated fury.

Trigon scowled. His rows of eyes narrowed in annoyance. "The best ones are always so touchy."

Robin cracked his neck and looked at the Dark Lord calmly, replacing the mask/sunglasses back onto his face.

Surprisingly, Trigon looked wary.

"This is my-"

Robin shook his head. "You trespass. You will leave. Now."

Trigon flared up, his four eyes burning brightly. "She is MINE-"

He shook his head. "She is no one's. You saw to that. So much power in a single vessel, Dark Lord. Rather like putting all your eggs in one basket. If she tapped even a tenth of what you gave her, you would be on your knees. Fortunately she's better than that. We don't expect you to understand."

He shook his head, silencing the Dark Lord's answering bluster stillborn. "This is our Realm. You hold no dominion here, and whatever sufferance you had is long gone."

Trigon scowled. "You have no authority, dream-thing. No power over me. I AM the stuff of Nightmares."

Robin grinned coldly. "Perhaps. Care to press your luck?"

He waited patiently. Whatever her father saw in his face, it must have, at the very least, made him cautious. He scowled and disappeared, his taint fleeing from Raven's awareness like a breath of fresh air in a room gone dead and stale;  
poisonous with hatred.

Robin turned, and for a moment she saw the Other... then it was just Robin. He pulled a small knife from his belt and leaned close.

She stared up at him half entranced, her eyes on those featureless white panels behind which his eyes would have been.

"Sorry I'm late," He whispered, the knife severing her bonds in a quick, expert flash of blade.

She shook her head wonderingly. "Why?"

As usual he answered the question as she meant it in her heart, not in her head. "You asked. I told you all you ever had to do was ask."

He sighed. "I'll get in trouble for this, but... I don't care."

She rubbed her wrist and avoided looking at him, her features automatically schooling themselves to neutrality.

He watched her seriously, then sighed. Turning slowly, he seated himself on the desk in front of her and watched her expressionlessly.

"Don't ask questions of me that you already know I can't answer, Rae." He said quietly.

It didn't even raise a scowl that he knew what was going on. The amount of incredulous wonder zinging along their bond at the moment was more than enough to forstall any effort she might have made to prevent it.

It was amazing how quickly one could get used to such a thing. She half expected to wake up with her bed and most of her personal belongings reenacting a scene from Poltergeist.

With Raven, EVERYTHING was an Indian Burial Ground.

Instead she tamped down her typical suspicious reaction and instead focused on the bond between them. This normally would have been something she would have avoided at all costs, as she very rarely wanted to know what SHE was feeling, let alone someone else. She trusted his motive, but she wanted, no... she needed to know what he meant by this.

Concern. Tired resignation, and beneath that...

Fear.

Her eyes widened. Fear? Of her? That didn't make sense... that wasn't right.

No.

Her expression changed subtly and he stood. He nodded curtly to her, then turned and walked towards the exit of the courtroom.

"He won't be back tonight. My intrusion is... regrettable, but necessary. I'll-"

"You're afraid that I'll stop trusting you." She said quietly. "That I'll reject you."

He froze. His back was to her. He looked down. She felt a sudden sick surge of dread from him. Then...

Self recrimination.

Her eyes widened slightly.

"Of course I'm afraid." He said bitterly. "What have I given you to trust? Secrets and more secrets."

He looked down. "What can you build out of dust and shadows?"

"Why don't you trust me?" She asked. She kept her tone neutral.

He turned slightly.

"What makes you think I don't trust you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You know everything there is to know about ME."

He sighed. "I've told you everything I can. More than I should. The problem is..." He hesitated.

She waited.

"The problem is, it isn't my story to tell."

She considered this.

Slowly while the two of them talked, the courtroom faded from view. Everything, the desks, the jury box, even her other emotions. They seemed, by silent concensus, to agree that this matter affected them all, and that she should handle it. The dry greyness of Nevermore flushed the sick fantasy of Trigon's nightmare from her psyche.

He waited. The sense she got from him was that he was waiting for the axe to fall.

She felt surprisingly calm. Centered. He always did that to her, for some reason.

No... she knew the reason.

She came to a decision.

"We'll work on that." She answered.

He started. Looked at her fully.

"We?"

She fixed him with a slightly bemused but still very serious expression.

"It takes two to tango, Boy Wonder."

Once again something had changed between them. The air felt charged and expectant.

Still, this time she wasn't afraid. Rather than being swept along by the force of the events in her life, she had made a decision, and now she was, for lack of a better term, surfing her way to a distant unknown shore.

Of course, if she fell off...

He watched her for a moment, then let out a great sigh.

"I wasn't meant for this, Rae." He said quietly.

She shook her head. "That's no excuse-"

He raised a hand to quiet her.

"As I was saying, I wasn't meant for this... but... I really don't have much of a choice, do I?"

He didn't sound bitter. He sounded rather amused. The bond between them felt heavy with emotion, like a rope drawing ever tighter.

Surprisingly, things stayed easy between them. It felt... Right.

She smiled inwardly at the release of tension.

"I don't think either of us do." She said quietly.

He cocked his head.

"What now?" He asked quietly.

She smiled. It was a small smile, typical of her. It didn't begin to speak of what she felt inside, but...

He knew.

"I'll see you in the morning." She whispered.

He nodded, and simply vanished like a soap bubble. For a moment she wondered if he had really been there, then shook her head.

She knew. She didn't know how he had been there... but she knew.

She didn't know how, but it didn't matter.

For once, she refused to analyze it to death.

This wasn't a epiphany... there wasn't a crash of cymbols or a symphonic release. They didn't suddenly begin to desperately devour one another.

That wasn't how they worked. They were quiet people, the both of them. Everything must be judged and weighed, assigned a risk. Not to self, or rather, not entirely to self, but to others.

Their consideration was always outside of themselves. Still, this was... an acknowledgement.

There was something between them. Something they could no longer ignore, or pretend wasn't there.

She sighed.

It had the potential to save her... or damn her for all eternity.

There was no turning back.


End file.
